


it's a dark road but we'll cross it together

by o0JayWolf0o



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alcohol, Alcohol Abuse, Alcoholism, Angst, Blind Terezi, Blood and Gore, Buckets, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Can Town, Character Death, Childhood Trauma, Decapitation, Dream Bubbles, Drug Use, Drugs, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Friends to Lovers, Gore, Hemospectrum, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Insomnia, Internalized Homophobia, Lots of Crying, Mental Abuse, Mental Instability, Meteorstuck, Mild Gore, Multi, Nightmares, No Smut, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Pillow & Blanket Forts, Quasiplatonic, Queerplatonic Relationships, Recuperacoons, Slow Burn, Sober Gamzee Makara, Somnophilia (hinted at), Sopor, Sopor Pie, Sopor Slime, Trauma, Troll Anatomy, Weed, pesterlogs, some sex jokes but its all sfw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2017-09-04
Packaged: 2018-12-06 23:21:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 38,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11611074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/o0JayWolf0o/pseuds/o0JayWolf0o
Summary: Dave was wandering the meteor, bored, when he stumbled across a secret room marked by deep, purple claw marks. He investigates and ultimately tells his two best friends - the Mayor and Karkat. For there on, they build a blanket fort and paradox space ensures that many, many shenanigans follow this.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Fortuitous](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9927995) by [Java_bean](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Java_bean/pseuds/Java_bean). 



> ok i swear to fuck the summary sucks  
> ill change it or whatever when i actually have a good idea on what the fuck im doing  
> uhh enjoy? this is my first serious homestuck fic uwu
> 
> //chapters will be longer than this one, i promise lol

The meteor had been quiet for a while- at least, for you, it was. You being stuck with 5 other trolls, a chess dude, and your sister had gotten.. bland. You only talked to your sister because she was the only person you _knew_ , so of course, you wanted to do something else after spending 3 months talking only to her. You had even read her weird wizard fanfictions out of boredom.

You had started talking to Karkat only because he helped you and the Mayor work on Can Town (Gog, you loved the Mayor). From then on, you had hung out outside of Can Town and learned each other's interests, etc. You could easily say he was your best friend alongside John.

Terezi was interesting too, and she was pretty funny if you were being honest. You guys got along well after you’d seen her, somehow, drawing a scalemate. It was weird, considering she was blind, but whatever. She even told you you smelled like cherries.

The nights on the meteor weren’t so long after that, so you considered it a good thing you’d befriended the two trolls.

 

You groaned, rolling out of your bed and landing hard on the metal floor of your respiteblock. Room? You had just been calling it respiteblock because the trolls did. Blinking a few times, you felt around for your shades and slid them onto your face, rolling your tongue around in your mouth so it wasn’t so dry.

Stretching, you exited your room and trudged to the common room, grabbing a mug and making yourself some black coffee. It wasn’t ideal, but you didn’t know where the sugar and milk (or creamer) were.

Turning around, you flopped onto the couch, nursing your cup with one hand while the other was thrown behind the cushion. You took a glance around, staring at the blank TV. It was dark, but that was normal. The only light on the meteor now were the computers they never had to use and Kanaya’s skin, as well as a few flashlights they’d alchemized but never put to use.

Done with your coffee, you left the mug on the counter and decided to go for a walk. You bit back a yawn and did the weird floaty-thing where your feet were barely above the ground so you didn’t have to actually walk.

It was quiet, the only sounds around being the distant bang of the vent shafts or the generators running the temperature. You put your hand against the wall, gliding over the floor and letting your hand run against the cold metal.

You passed Can Town, which was about a quarter of the way done. Everyone had allowed you, Karkat, and the Mayor to use one of the bigger rooms to work on the project. Sometimes, the Mayor signed that he would make Can Town a reality some day. You smiled at the thought.

Now leaning against the wall, you came to the last hallway, floating around. It was a bit dusty- nobody ever went back here, really. Glancing around, you saw a strange, purple line scrawled into the wall. It looked as if someone had used their claws to scrape into the metal. Curious, you pushed against it. Nothing happened, so you shoved the spot to see if it made a difference. The wall lurched, swinging open as you stumbled into a secret passageway. A flight of stairs led down _into_ the meteor, and your eyes widened behind your shades.

Glancing behind you, you close the door and floated down the stairs, listening for anything weird. You only heard strange space noises and your own breathing, though, so you continued down until the stairs stopped and a hallway opened into the right.

It was dim, and you could just barely see a large, open space. There were some doors, which you assumed led to rooms, and dust flitted around thickly in the air. The sharp tang of.. _something_ hit your nostrils and your gaze led you to the far door.

Again, this one was marked, but it had a large ‘X’ in purple claw marks. You shoved against it and tried, to your best ability, to open it, but it wouldn’t budge. You guessed you could find out what it was in the two remaining years you were here, though.

Instead, you opted to explore the rooms. They weren’t large- only about the size of the common room each- and were all empty. One room, though, to the far right of the big, marked door, had a pie can that was covered in green at one of the walls. On that wall were streaks of color- Bronze, Fuchsia, Olive, Gold, Indigo, and Violet to be exact. They were all inside a purple circle. It also held a bit of the scent you’d smelled earlier.

You felt uneasy in this room, so you told yourself you wouldn’t explore it much more. You glanced around to make sure there weren’t any more secret doors in the room before gliding back up the stairs, opening the door quietly, and clicking it closed by grabbing the indent the claw had made and pulling. It honestly looked like part of the wall, though in retrospect it was probably supposed to.

You walked- yes, actually _walked_ \- back to the common room to find everyone awake. Since arriving on the meteor, you only had a few people to keep you company- those people being;  
Your sister, Rose Lalonde,  
your best friend, Karkat Vantas,  
your other friend, Terezi Pyrope,  
Terezi’s moirail, Vriska Serket,  
Karkat’s moirail, Kanaya Maryam,  
your other best friend, the Mayor,  
and some weird insane clown you hadn’t seen yet. You are quite certain his name was Gamzay.

“How long have you been awake?” Rose cocked a brow at you.

“A while, just walkin’ around and droppin’ some sick fires,” you lied.

Rose hummed, taking a sip of her coffee as you plopped down next to Karkat and the Mayor on the floor. Vriska and Terezi were chilling on the couch anyway.

A comfortable silence passed around the room, and eventually, the two on the couch left to go ‘FLARP,’ whatever that meant. You took the chance and sat down on the black furniture, slinging your hands behind your head and over the back of the couch.

You let your mind wander for a while and eventually you found yourself thinking about the room you’d found. You wondered who you should tell. Vriska was a no-go since you didn’t really like her in the first place. Terezi would paint the walls like she did to her respiteblock, and you _really_ didn’t want that.

Rose and Kanaya were okay, but you didn’t want them to spill the beans to Vriska or Terezi. You know one of them would bring it up eventually, so you guess they were left out.

The only choices left were Karkat and the Mayor, and they seemed pretty cool. You would tell them, you decided.

Looking at Karkat on the floor, you clicked your tongue to get his attention. He scowled in your direction, which was just his default expression but whatever. Your eyes flickered over to Rose and Kanaya, so you subtly jerked your head toward your room.

Karkat looked confused, but got up anyway and followed you to your block, the Mayor close behind. You shut the door, making sure nobody was around before locking it.

“Dude,” you said excitedly.

“What. What the fuck is so important you had to drag me from my peaceful rest on the hard, cold floor because nobody gives enough fucks to alchemize a soft carpet for everyone to lay down on so we don’t have to wear 20 robes to make sure our legs don’t get frostbite from touching the freezing metal for that long?” Karkat fumed, though he wasn’t really mad.

Ignoring his little rant, you continued. “So, I was floating around,” you bounce a little, “when I saw this mark on the wall, right? So I pushed it, and it turned out to be a door, which led into this secret passage and shit. It’s so fuckin cool, dude, you gotta come see it,” you finished.

Karkat rolled his eyes at you while the Mayor just stayed quiet, as always. “You expect me to believe you?”

You feigned offense. “Why, of course, my dearest Karkat, I have never lied to you. Now come on,” you grabbed his wrist lightly and led him out of your room, shutting the door after the Mayor scuttled out.

Karkat trailed behind only because he had nothing else to do. “So where the fuck is it?” he queried.

“Down here,” you replied, turning left and walking to the same mark as earlier. You shoved your shoulder against it and it creaked open again. Turning around, you smirked at Karkat, who was wide-eyed as was the Mayor.

“So you weren’t kidding, huh?” he mumbled, following you down and glancing at the wall and such. He made sure to shut the entrance before jumping down the stairs.

You all entered the room and you sat down, looking at Karkat. His eyes were wide and curious, like a kitten. It was kind of cute, honestly.

 **'What’s that over there for?'** the Mayor signed, nodding toward the marked door.

“I’m not sure. I tried bustin’ it open earlier but nothing happened,” you shrugged. “Oh, and, that room,” you pointed to the door to the right of the marked door, “is weird. I wouldn’t go in there, there's some spoopy shit on the wall.”

Karkat cocked a brow, glancing at the door silently. “Okay, whatever. So what are we even gonna _do_ in here?” he asked.

You shrugged again. “We could watch movies in here or something. You know, do stuff without people bursting into the room like they always do. It’s kinda peaceful in here, TBH.”

Karkat squinted his eyes, lost in thought. “Well... What if we built something in here?”

You stood up, stretching. “Like what?”

“I don’t know, a fort or something?”

“That’s pretty childish,” you snorted. The idea of building a fort with Karkat and the Mayor sounded kinda fun, though.

“Shut the fuck up, we have nothing else to do,” an embarrassed blush spread on Karkat’s cheeks.

You chuckled. “Sure. Let’s make a blanket fort, I’ll go alchemize some shit.”

“Wait, now?”

“Why not?” you brushed some hair from your face and made your way up the stairs. “You start planning out how we’re gonna do this with Mr. Mayo, okay?” you called.

“Alright!” Karkat’s voice echoed back up to you. You exited the room, ready to make one of the most badass blanket forts ever.


	2. Chapter 2

You turned the final corner to the mechanics room. Well, you weren’t _actually_ sure what it was called, but it had a lot of weird shit in it like computers, the totem lathe, and namely the alchemizer, so you called it the mechanics room. That Sollux dude would be pissed at you for calling it that, you're fairly certain.

Stepping into the room, you sucked in a sharp breath as you stepped on a nail. “ _Fuck,_ ” you muttered, squinting your eyes as the pain passed. You rose up and started doing the floaty thing so that wouldn’t happen again when you noticed Rose and Kanaya on the other side of the room, using one of the three alchemizers.

“Why hello there,” you said, flying over there. Kanaya smiled.

“What brings you here, Dave?” she questioned.

You looked around at all the arbitrary stuff on the ground. There was some red slime in a pitcher and a few hollow.. _whatever_ they were called, laying around. “I need some blankets. Still trying to make that recupera-whatever?”

Kanaya nodded. “Recuperacoons. And I could give you the code for them if you like?” You nodded, looking around some more. “What color?”

“Any, really.”

“And how many?” she asked, already punching in a code.

“Uhh... Like 10?” you shrugged. She spun around, surprised.

“What do you need ten blankets for?”

You glanced to the side. “Stuff. I just need ‘em,” you lied. Seeing as she wasn’t going to pry it from you, she delivered the bundle of blankets to you and you captchalogued them.

“Anything else?” she inquired, glancing at the various cards around her as if she were busy.

“Uh, yeah. Maybe some screws? Or tape. Tape and nails. Probably some other stuff, too.”

She created the few things you asked for before getting back to work. You floated out, everything captchalogued in your sylladex somewhere. Double, and triple, checking that nobody had followed you, you slipped into the passage and drifted down the stairs. When you stood- well, you were still floating- in the doorway, the Mayor was drawing on the floor with some blue chalk. Karkat was nodding a bit, brows creased in concentration. His hand was cupped into his chin.

“I’m back,” you announced, causing Karkat to tense up for a second.

“Jegus fuck, Dave, you scared the living shit out of me,” Karkat accused. You huffed out a laugh, removing the bundle of blankets from your sylladex. “How many did you get?” Karkat asked, surprised.

“Ten, because I have no idea how big this thing is gonna be. Speaking of which, how big is this thing gonna be?” you queried.

“Well, I was planning on making it about as big as the middle of this section, so we can go through the fort to get to the other two doors back there. And maybe that other door that won’t _fucking_ open, but whatever,” Karkat mused.

You took a moment to scan over [the blueprints](http://imgur.com/a/xJ3Et) the mayor had drawn out.

The planning was messy, but it worked out. The rooms would be pretty spacious, the movie room about two doors wide and a couch long. You suddenly wondered if you had enough blankets for the job.

“Okay, let’s start doing this thing,” you threw the blankets into a pile and grabbed the bag of nails and hammer you had. Karkat grabbed one of the blankets, which was black with green and purple swirly-designs on it. You forgot what the designs were called, but it was fine with you.

You grabbed a ladder from your sylladex- you had no idea where the fuck you had gotten it from- and propped it up before climbing onto it. There were some lights on the ceiling that had been busted a long time ago, but they looked like the ones from school. You opened it up, took the blanket from Karkat, and placed the end of it in the light before quickly slamming it shut. It locked the fabric in place and you grinned, hammering a nail into the metal on the outside of the light so you wouldn't be able to open it again. Where the blanket wasn’t trapped, you taped it to the ceiling, all the way around the fort.

You and Karkat repeated this a few times, always making sure a light was in place so you didn't have to do something stupid like nail the blanket into the ceiling (yes, you tried it, yes, you hurt your hand, yes, you regretted it, and yes, Karkat laughed).

When you were done, you checked the “time.” You had all synced your phones to be the same, even if there was no sun. It read 2:42 PM, which meant you and Karkat had been working on the fortress for about 4 hours.

“Jegus, this looks really fuckin’ good,” Karkat mumbled, standing back and admiring [your and his handiwork.](http://imgur.com/a/h7Xkp) The Mayor looked so proud of you two, you think you saw white tears on the edges of his tiny eyes. Your heart flipped for the little guy- how could someone be so adorable?

You nodded, a smile gracing your lips before an idea sparked in your mind. “Hold up,” you announced. You quickly flew over to the mechanics room, where Rose and Kanaya had disappeared and cleaned their mess up. You studied the list of codes they’d written down and created a big tapestry with the same, weird designs as the blankets. You also alchemized some more tape, and a few blankets and pillows, as well as a mini fridge and a small table. Finally, you made two fans and scurried back to the fort, everything tucked away safely in your sylladex.

Karkat was gone- probably in the fort with the Mayor- so you strolled around to the sides of the fort and grabbed your fans. You taped one to the blanket so it was secure enough before plugging it in and turning it on low. You repeated this with the other side, and stepped back to look at the fortress again.

It looked the same, but now had two bumps on the sides. Karkat walked out and cocked a brow at you, looking around. “Did you attach two fans to the side of the fort or something? And why?”

“Yeah, I did, because it’s actually pretty hot down here. Have you noticed that? I have. I’ve been sweating like that one guy, Equipiss or some shit, all this time. So fuckin’ hot,” you finished your brief ramble. “Oh, wait, I have some other stuff too, hold on.”

You worked your way into the fort, waving at the Mayor before walking into the space to the left of the entrance. You deployed your tapestry before nailing it into the roof (yes, you hurt your hand, yes, you regretted it, yes, Karkat laughed, yes, we have already had this same dialogue, and yes, we should get back to the story) on all corners of the fort. You had to do some weird maneuvering to make sure you didn't actually fuck up the interior walls of the fort, but what was done was done. You thought it looked pretty cool.

“What do you think?” you asked the Mayor and Karkat.

 **‘I like it!’** the Mayor signed.

“Same,” Karkat admitted, looking around. “Damn, this place is empty. We should get some stuff-” he began, but you cut him off.

“Already on it,” you said, placing down another huge blanket to serve as the floor. You put down a table in the extra space, as well as two pillows around the table to act as chairs, and a red and gray blanket with white pillows in the bedroom. You hooked up the mini fridge in the movie room, deploying some snacks you had earlier swiped from the common room in it. Damn. This is fuckin’ rad.

You said just that, looking around. It was now 3:17 PM, and you were ready to chill out with the troll. “So, wanna do something? Like watch a movie, I mean, because we just spent like, 5 hours, or whatever, on this thing.”

“Sure,” Karkat replied, grabbing a soda can from the mini fridge. He smiled a bit when he realized you had gotten his favorite kind- cherry Dr. Pepper. You yourself grabbed some apple juice and sat down on a pillow, giving Karkat his own to sit down on.

He put his husktop down in front of both of you before snatching some of the various romcoms he kept in his sylladex and laying them out. He chose three, two of which you hadn’t seen yet, before captchaloguing the rest. He slid one into the CD rack before leaning back, leaving you to start it up. You turned the volume all the way up, knowing nobody could hear you down here. That thought alone set a smirk to your lips.

You felt someone tap your shoulder, and you glanced over at the Mayor. **‘I’m going to go work on Can Town if you need me,’** he signed. You nodded, sitting up and pausing the movie.

“Er, be right back, Karkat,” you stated before following the Mayor. You didn't think he was strong enough to open the door, so you were going to help him.

As you arrived at the top of the stairs, you heard mumbling beyond it. You instantly recognised the voices of Vriska and Terezi, so you motioned for the Mayor to stay quiet while you leaned heavily against the door. This way, you could not only hear them better, but they also wouldn’t be able to open the door.

“..don’t know. I was thinking they were outside,” Vriska said.

“Their scent stops here,” Terezi announced, and you froze. Of course she’d be able to smell you! What were you thinking? You decided from now on, you’d have to spray some really strong Febreze everywhere. Especially down this hall. Or just in the vents, so it would circulate around the building.

“Umm... What the fuck is this?” Vriska’s voice was _right outside the door, oh gog._

“I don’t know. It probably doesn’t matter, and they might be with Rose and Kanaya. We have to go there anyway,” Terezi sighed.

“Wait, why don’t we just message them?” Vriska said, and it went quiet as their voice faded. The pair burst out laughing before you got a message from Vriska.

You ignored it for a moment and waited about five minutes before opening the door for the Mayor. “Okay, ‘lil dude, I’m going to keep this door locked and shit so if you need me, just ask Rose to message me. Or ask her to get a phone. You know what? It would be pretty fuckin’ cool if you had a phone.” You waved bye to him before shutting the door and sliding the lock shut. Both of them. Well, all five of them. You have no idea why there were five locks in this door, but you didn’t really give a shit.

Walking downstairs, you grabbed your phone and opened up Pesterchum.

 

\-- arachnidsGrip [AG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] \--  
AG: Dave, where the fuck are you?  
AG: Terezi and I have 8een searching everywhere for you and Karkat.  
\-- turntechGodhead [TG] is an idle chum! --  
AG: Ugh, whatever.  
AG: We need you two to meet up outside so we can start training for when we get to the other side of the scratch.  
AG: We can’t have everyone laying around on their asses and getting overw8 and shit.  
AG: It’ll 8e happening tomorrow. Don’t 8other skipping 8ecause we know you don’t have anything 8etter to do! >:::;)  
\-- arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] \--

You rolled your eyes and pocketed your phone, making a mental note to grab Febreze (or candles) and to see what kind of “training” Vriska wanted you to do. You climbed back into the fort with Karkat, scooting up and turning the movie back on.

“What took you so long?” the gray-clad troll asked.

“Vriska and Terezi almost found us, so I just waited it out. They also want us to ‘train,’” you exaggerated with air quotes, “tomorrow, so it’s whatever. Let’s just watch this. What’s it even about?”

“Just read the title,” Karkat handed you the case. You skimmed over it a bit, not really reading it but looking at the art. Two actors, the names of which you didn’t know nor care about, were sitting under a tree. Their horns were close to touching, but not quite, and the female was leaning on the male. It was weird.

You put the case down, moving your pillow so you could lay down like Karkat was doing. You took a long sip of your apple juice before setting it aside, distracting yourself by the film. In all honesty, it was a pretty good story from what you’d seen, but you spent most of the time laughing internally at Karkat’s expressions.

He’d get mad when something sappy or cliché happened, and sad when something didn’t work out. You didn’t miss the spark of excitement in his eyes when a crab showed up on the screen, and you had to refrain from bursting out loud because _what the fuck, Karkat loves crabs?_

Eventually, you two had watched all of the movies and were getting pretty tired. “So are we gonna sleep in here or in our roo- respiteblocks?” you asked, correcting yourself.

“We may as well sleep in here,” Karkat yawned, showing off his (rather dirty) fangs, “because we’re already here so why the fuck not.” He crawled into the bedroom and you captchalogued the trash you’d both scattered about, telling yourself to get rid of it (and the other few messes you had in your sylladex) in the morning. Tomorrow would be a busy day, you thought, crawling into the blankets next to Karkat.

You put yourself at a respectable distance from him, but honestly you couldn’t care less how far away you were. You just wanted to make sure he didn’t steal your fluffy blanket. Your shades were put on the ground away from you- you’d just put them back on in the morning. Continuing a few thoughts about blankets and how fucking warm and comfortable you were, you vision eventually darkened and your consciousness slipped away from you as you fell into a deep sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so the only reason the pictures are in there is because, well, i was bored, and stuff. so yeah.  
> also, the fort DOES have swirly patterns on it but i got lazy and didnt add them.  
> i still dont remember what the patterns are called but they look just like [henna](https://www.google.com/search?q=henna&safe=active&rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS709US709&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiTlYqB0aXVAhWd3oMKHbQEBbMQ_AUICigB&biw=1366&bih=638) so idk
> 
> also, if anyone is curious [this is how you code pesterlogs](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5391818)  
> i spent like a week trying to find out so, yeah. yw.  
> lastly i ask that you dont ever expect updates or art or whatever the fuck im doing as quick as this because i could be updating once every hour before i suddently cancel the book (which yeah, thats happened before)  
> hopefully i actually finish this one?  
> ok, bye lmao


	3. Chapter 3

You blinked your eyes a bit, checking the time on your phone. It was 10 AM. Grabbing your shades, you hummed, throwing your blanket off and rolling your head around on your neck, hearing a few pops ring out. You cracked your knuckles and stretched, looking down at the warm, gray body next to you. Karkat was fast asleep, letting out tiny snores every now and then. Damn. It was pretty cute. No homo.

You snickered quietly, standing up and exiting the tiny room. You grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge, noticing one or two missing snacks. You shrugged it off; maybe Karkat had eaten a few during the night. You decided to go upstairs and do what you’d told yourself to do yesterday- get rid of the messes in your sylladex and put some scents in the vents to confused Terezi.

You dropped off by the garbage chute, deploying about 6 messes and a... dead bird? Where the fuck did you get  _ that  _ from? Shaking the thought off, you drifted over to the mechanics room and alchemized some candles since there weren’t any air fresheners. There was some perfume, though, so you took that. 

You wandered off to the most secluded vent shaft you could find. It was slightly ajar, with all but one screw missing. As you pulled it open, a strong scent- the same one you had smelled yesterday in the strange room- hit you, again. Where was it even coming from? You shrugged inwardly, twisting the perfume open and pouring about a quarter of the bottle into the vent. You tossed the candle as far back as you could before shutting the shaft and looking for another one to hurl a candle in.

After you deposited the candles, you floated back to the common room. Karkat was there now, probably having left while you were running errands. He held a half-empty cup of coffee and was sat cross-legged next to the mayor on the ground, in the same spot as yesterday.

As you walked into the room, Vriska also arrived, coming from the far right door and plopping onto the couch for a few seconds before getting up to make herself some coffee. You sat next to Karkat, whose hair was sticking out 20 different ways and had bags under his eyes.

“Hey, Dave, do you want my coffee?” he asked. You nodded, taking the slightly warm cup without hesitation and drinking it a bit. It tasted like ass, but whatever. You needed the caffeine.

“You look like shit,” you commented.

“Thanks, I didn’t get that much sleep,” he mumbled. You quirked a brow. Karkat glanced around a bit, making sure Vriska was busy doing whatever the fuck she was doing by the coffee machine. Seriously, what the fuck was she doing? She was like, mumbling to it? Oh, wait, Karkat was trying to tell you something. He leaned in, keeping his voice low. “I heard stuff beyond the door, and it scared the shit out of me. It sounded like someone had too much grub loaf, and now they couldn’t stop moaning about how full they were,” Karkat complained.

You pursed your lips. “Well, I don’t know what that could’ve been,” you shrugged, watching Vriska sit onto the couch. 

“Yesterday, Rose said she saw you asking for blankets and tape, but then you and Vant _ass_ disappeared for the rest of the day. Even Terezi couldn’t sniff you out. What gives?” Vriska prodded you with her foot.

“Doesn’t matter. We’re going to your training thing if it makes you happy,” you changed the subject. Or tried. It worked.

“Oh, okay. That works,” the blue-blooded mumbled. Vriska was a lot less terrifying when she was tired, you noted.

You finished Karkat’s coffee before glancing around. “When do we have to be there?” you asked.

“I’ll just message everyone,” Vriska replied. You got up, glancing at Karkat before you put your cup in the sink. You briefly wondered when someone was going to do the dishes; and who. It would probably be Kanaya, you decided. But seriously, there was a tower of dishes. You didn’t even get to put your mug in the sink, you just awkwardly put it to the side like most other utensils.

Realizing a bit too late that you’d been mumbling, youmentally cursed at yourself. You walked over to the fridge before grabbing a bowl of macaroni. You don’t know how old it was, but it looked pretty good, so you microwaved it, watching as Karkat chose some kind of weird alien food from the "thermal hull." It was like a bowl of spaghetti but the noodles were swirly and purple, while the meat was- well, there was no meat, but the sauce was a dark green and looked chunky for some reason.

After your mac and cheese were finished, you slid aside and let him warm up his food. You grabbed a spoon (seriously, who eats macaroni and cheese with a fork? Well, you do sometimes, but that’s not the point) and sat down on the couch, sparing a glance at the Mayor. He was holding a brown stick with red filling that smelled vaguely of ravioli. Damn, you loved ravioli.

The Mayor sat to the left of you and Karkat took a spot on your right. “What are you eating?” you asked him. He looked offended, as if you should’ve known exactly what he had in that brown bowl.

“Only the best grub sauce and noodles ever? Have you, really, honestly never had grub sauce and noodles?” he asked in disbelief.

“‘Fraid not, Karkat.” You looked at the weird food. “But I have had spaghetti, and Alfredo, which is kind of similar.”

“I don’t give a shit what spaghetti is, you have to try this.” He shoved his bowl of grub sauce and noodles into your lap. You grabbed his fork and squinted at the food, vaguely scenting the perfume and candles you’d placed earlier before twirling the noodles around with a fork. You stabbed one of the chunky sauce things before taking a bite, eyes widening at the taste.

You swallowed, looking down at the bowl. “Holy shit, this is the best thing I’ve had since we got on this ship,” you murmured, taking another bite.

“Wait ‘till you try grub loaf,” Karkat giggled. Actually  _ giggled. _ Oh, god. 

Your eyes flitted over to his face as he stole your macaroni. “Oh, so you know what macaroni is, but I don’t know what grub sauce and noodles are?” you asked around a bite of the stuff. Karkat shrugged, a glimmer in his eye. He must enjoy teaching you about his culture. You made a mental note to ask him about quadrants later.

You finished the bowl, sighing in relief. The Mayor was munching on another stick of the ravioli stuff. It looked pretty good, but heaven forbid you take his meal. Instead, you put Karkat's bowl on the counter by the sink and wiped the area around your mouth free of grub sauce. 

You started walking down the hall, glancing back as Karkat jogged to catch up. That left Vriska, the Mayor, and Rose (who had walked in while you were eating) in the common room.

“Ugh, what the fuck is that smell?” Karkat groaned, irritated by the fragrance of perfume and candles.

“Well, I had to make sure Terezi didn’t find us somehow,” you shrugged.

“Oh,” Karkat grumbled, yawning. He looked pretty tired.

“You wanna take a nap or something?” you asked.

“Eh, sure. Can we go to the fort, though?” You nodded in reply, glancing down the hall. The distant sound of frantic scuttling in the vents echoed around you both. If Karkat heard, he didn’t show any signs of it and instead continued following you.

As you’d done many times before, you glanced around, making sure nobody was near, before pulling the door open. For a second, it didn’t budge, but on the second try, it swung open.

You led Karkat down the stairs. He almost fell, so you had to keep a close eye on him on your way down. It was pretty quiet as he crawled into his ‘bed,’ making himself comfortable. As you were about to leave and watch some random videos on YouTube, he tugged at your pants.

“Dave, can you stay in here? Please?” Karkat asked, voice feeble. He seemed... really worn out. Not at all like he was earlier, what with his eyes sparkling and all that. Karkat rushed to explain. “It’s just, without sopor slime, trolls have really, _really_ bad nightmares unless their moirail or matesprit is around to sleep with them. And when I slept with you last night, I didn’t have any nightmares, so..” he trailed off, blushing. You don't know why he was blushing, though. If he wanted you to sleep with him to get rid of his nightmares you'd do just that.

“Sure, dude,” you replied. You lie down next to him and he snuggled up close to you, shoulders touching. He was pretty warm- like, really warm. Was he always this warm? Jeez, he was actually... hot. You don’t know why. It was probably a troll thing.

You grabbed your phone and earbuds and watched some random shit. Most were just rap battles, but some were video game playthroughs. Eventually, you decided to draw a little bit, so you sat up (as long as you were next to Karkat he wouldn’t get nightmares, right?) and grabbed your sketchbook and pencil.

First, you drew some crows, kind of bored. You wouldn’t tell anyone this, but you were actually pretty decent at drawing. Shading the feathers a bit, you flipped to the next page, tapping the pencil on your chin in thought. You needed something to draw...

You glanced down at Karkat for a moment before deciding to draw the fortress, designs and all. After you were done with that, you elected to draw the strange colors on the wall you’d seen yesterday, as well as the pie tin.

Halfway through this, Karkat rolled over, eyes scrunched up and shaking a bit.  _ Shit, is he having a nightmare? Fuck, what do I do? _ you panicked, before deciding to just wake him up. Grabbing his shoulder, you shook up, calling out his name. “Karkat? Karkat, wake up.”

His eyes shot open and flickered toward you, rage present on his face for a few milliseconds and his eyes pure red before he snapped out of it, eyes wide.

“Fuck,” he whispered. “Dave, I’m sorry, I didn’t-” Karkat trembled. “You- I-” he hiccupped.  _ Fuck, is he about to cry? Fuck, fuck, oh god, what do I do?! _ Red tears slid down the troll’s face and he sniffled a bit. Oh god.

“Uh, it’s okay, it was just a nightmare,” you told him, fumbling with your hands before just hugging him. Karkat’s arms latched around your tiny frame and squeezed, and he sniffled again. He buried his head in your neck, shaking lightly. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he whispered over and over again. You shushed him lightly, as you’d seen him do to other people before when they needed to calm down. 

After a few minutes, Karkat stopped shaking and stopped crying, now just breathing against you. He let his arms slide away from you and he wiped his eyes with his sleeve. “Sorry, that was lame,” he mumbled.

You tried to ignore the wet spot on your shirt as you put your hands in your lap, nowhere else to put them. “It’s fine. Do you want me to get Kanaya?” You don’t know what moirails were for, but you recalled Karkat sitting in a pile of yarn with her and talking about stuff with her a few times. You guessed she could help.

Karkat’s eyes flickered to the ground for a moment before he shrugged. “Um, no, actually...” He looked up at you. “And thanks... I didn’t- I didn’t actually have a nightmare, though.”

“..Then, why..” you trailed off. Karkat looked away for a second, before glancing back up to you. You don’t know how, but it looked like he could see right through your shades.

“I had a dream, about Gamzee. He was... He was my best friend, but.. he ran out of sopor pie, and now he’s just!” Karkat threw his hands into the air, lip trembling. “I really miss him,” he confessed quietly. “Hearing him in the vents really hurts, because I know he’s not okay. He thinks he is, but.. no,” he finished with a sniffle.

“Oh.. well, um.. sopor pie?” you asked, glancing at your notebook briefly (which was closed).

“Yeah, Gamzee would always take sopor and bake pies out of it. When a troll eats sopor, they get like, really stoned, so he always... yeah.”

You paused, sparing a glance in the direction of the strange room you’d found. “Umm, I think you might want to see something, hold on..” You stood up, cracking your knuckles and popping your neck before leading Karkat to the room you promised you’d avoid. Sorry past Dave.

Hesitating for a second, you pushed it open, letting Karkat step inside. His brows were creased as he stared at the setup before you. “Fuck.. is that..?” Karkat took a step toward the pie tin, which had some weird kind of fly buzzing around it. Upon seeing Karkat, it darted off into the vent shaft above you two. “Oh, god, please be grub sauce,” Karkat whispered as he approached the streaks of color on the wall.

“Oh god, oh god, Dave, do you know what this is?” Karkat pleaded. He had never sounded so...  _ desperate. _ You shook your head, expression blank as Karkat studied the colors. “It’s troll blood!” he wailed. “And not just any troll blood! This is... Nepeta, Equius, Feferi, Eridan... oh, god, Sollux... And poor Tavros, he didn’t deserve any of this..” Karkat whispered.

You felt sick and swallowed heavily, reaching out to Karkat. “Dude, let’s just go, okay?” It was more of a question. He nodded, turning around with trembling arms and leading you the fuck out of there. You slammed the door shut, sparing a glance at the marked door before you got a message from Vriska. You already knew what it was.

“It’s time to start training. Do you wanna..?” you asked. You weren’t really honestly sure how to help people when they cried- you yourself never cried; Bro had taught you it wasn’t “manly”- but you did know that they needed a break every now and then.

“I’ll go. Between crying in a corner like a wiggler and doing something that distracts me... yeah.” You led Karkat from the fort, blinking a few times and drifting up the stairs. Karkat had set his expression to a scowl, trying to mimic your emotionless state. His tears and trembling had ceased and he just kind of looked exhausted now. You could only hope he wouldn’t collapse during the training.

You and Karkat walked to the common room, where everyone was waiting. The Mayor was gone, probably in his own respiteblock, and obviously, Gamzee wasn’t present. Brushing the thoughts off, you leaped over the back of the couch before plopping onto the plush cushion, eyes darting around the room. 

“Finally! Seriously, where have you guys been? You were gone yesterday  _ and _ today,” Terezi groaned. She seemed to be sniffing the air, grimacing at the scent.

“Places. Doesn’t matter. What’re we doin’?” you let Karkat lean onto the couch beside you.

“Well, since we’re going to be fighting as soon as we leave this meteor, I thought I should take responsibility,” her eyes flashed toward Karkat for a moment, “and make sure everyone was ready for the battle. So we’re gonna be exercising,” a grin crawled up her face.

“Ugh, seriously?” you moaned. All your life, you’d been swift and ready for battle. Your senses were sharp from your time with Bro; you still occasionally flinched as someone entered the room because you thought it was Bro forcing you into yet another strife.

“What, not up for it? Are you too weak, Strider?” Vriska sneered.

“I’m not weak, dude. I’m just really tired- we  _ all _ are. Can’t we have like, a fucking year to rest? We literally have two years and 9 months to prepare for this shit, so just give it a break!” you finished.

Vriska’s eye had widened in a bit of surprise before a shit-eating grin appeared on her face again. Ugh, it looked  _ just  _ like Terezi’s. “Nope!!!!!!!!”

You could just  _ hear _ the eight exclamation points. Rolling your eyes behind your shades, you sunk further into the cushions. 

Today was going to be long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so uh  
> i really didnt wanna end the chapter at where i did but i also thought it was a good place TO end it? because i didnt wanna write the whole training session, i mean seriously it would just be everyone exercising. also because toward the end they started to get really ooc and i was like "fuck it"  
> euhg
> 
> sorry for not uploading yesterday and shit  
> on the plus side this chapter is 2,700 words long, so. yeh


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: mild gore and usage/talk of "drugs" (sopor)

It had been two days since everyone had been invited to train. During this time, you had hung out with Karkat a little before staying in your respiteblock for the rest of the day, mixing music. You had fallen asleep there, woken up to get coffee, and promptly resumed working on your beats.

Honestly, you weren’t sure how Kanaya and Rose had alchemized the turntables. From what you heard, they just kept using combinations of headphones, discs, and computers until it had appeared. You’d been extremely happy that day.

Now you were bobbing your head, clicking buttons to see what sounded the best. You wrote down a few more rhymes before you were bored. You wandered aimlessly through the lab before you were met face-to-face with the secret door. Taking a swift look around, you darted inside, latching all the locks shut before gliding down the stairs.

You bumped into Karkat- quite literally- and he shrieked, clasping the area on his chest where his heart would be for a moment. “God, Dave, how the fuck are you so quiet when you go down the stairs?” he yelled.

“I just float,” you replied. You took a moment to glance over Karkat’s attire. He was wearing the same black shirt with the Cancer zodiac on it, but now he had brown slacks on. He leaned down, grabbing... what, were those plush crabs? He grabbed some of the crabs before disappearing into the far left room. You followed him, curious. “What’re you doin’?”

He dropped all of the crabs in a pile of clothes and blankets and started mixing them around. You’re fairly sure you saw a few empty cans of Faygo in there as well. “Making a pile,” he replied.

“A pile of junk?” you snickered.

“No, you uncultured swine, a pile. For feelings jams,” he groaned.

“But only you and I are down here. Are you planning on telling Kanaya about all this?” you frowned.

Karkat glanced away, expression dark for a moment. “Kanaya broke up with me,” he said quietly. Your eyebrows darted up in surprise.

“Oh. Um, are you okay?” you fidgeted, shoving your hands in your gray pockets.

“Does it look like I am?” Karkat turned around when you finally noticed how he _really_ looked. His hair was messier than usual and his eyes were dark with deep bags under them. He had faint,- so faint you weren’t actually sure if they _were_ there- dried tear tracks running down his face. He was slouched over as well.

“Oh,” you murmured, glancing over him again. “Um, do you wanna talk about it?” you offered. Karkat lit up, face going red quickly.

“Okay, you _obviously_ don’t understand quadrants, so I’ll let this slide, but you’re showing some _real_ pale feelings for me, Strider,” Karkat glanced away. You had no idea what that meant- probably something to do with moirallegiance.

You snapped your fingers, an idea perking in your mind. “I’ve been meaning to ask you about the quadrants, actually. You’re clearly super interested in them so,” you gave a subtle shrug, “yeah.”

Karkat’s eyes brightened for a moment, beaming at you. “Sure, hold on.” He finished mixing everything into an unholy pile of junk- no, a _pile,_ Karkat said it wasn’t junk- and opening a space in the middle. When he was done, he led you into the fort and sat down in the movie room.

“Okay, so what do you want to hear about first?” Karkat was practically bouncing in his seat. Well, he actually was a little. You wondered what Karkat looked like as a kid- no, a grub, right? God, aliens are fucking confusing.

“Moirallegiance, I guess.”

“Alright. So, when trolls are confused or scared, or basically just need to vent to someone, they typically go to their moirail and...”

 

* * *

 

You had spent hours upon hours hearing about troll culture. Some were quadrants, wrigglers, mother grub, the hemospectrum, and even the pile Karkat had made. You had asked about what a bucket meant, but Karkat just blushed and looked at you in surprise. “You’re kidding?” he had asked, and you had shaken your head. He had said he’d just tell you later and then continued on about whatever it was he’d been rambling over.

It was when you heard the vents creaking above you that Karkat had fallen silent, a guarded look passing over his eyes. You and the troll had sat in silence, and now here you were, standing in front of the marked door. Karkat tugged at your arm desperately, fear evident in his eyes. “Dude, knock it off. I don’t think he’ll answer anyway,” you had said, a bit of anger in your voice.

“Fine, whatever! Don’t come crawling to me when you’re paralyzed from how hard his fucking clubs bashed into you!” Karkat had stage-whispered, before darting upstairs. You were now alone.

You grabbed your katana before knocking heavily on the marked door. Silence. You tried again and once more were met with only the sound of air circulating through the building. The sound of the vents had long ceased, so you huffed, grasping at the door’s handle.

You pulled, pulled _hard_ , and stumbled backward with wide eyes as the door swung open about halfway. It collided with the fort, causing one of the back walls to flutter as air hit it.

You glided past the door- which, now that you thought about it, was more like a _vault_ than a _door_. On the ground were faint streaks of color that you quickly recognized as troll blood. Your expression fell numb, as usual, and you followed the trail.

Turning a right, you saw a long hallway that split into 4 different hallways on the left. You passed the first one and only saw a door at the end, as well as a vent shaft that had been ripped open. The second hallway had another door, though this one was slightly open. Again, a vent shaft was broken and had been peeled away from the wall to allow someone access to it. The fourth hallway was untouched with a sealed vent and a closed door, but the third hallway...

The streaks of blood had doubled and led to yet another door. This one was slightly ajar and had dim, green light leaking from it. You scrunched up your brows and slowly floated over, hands clenching your katana as you nudged the door open.

Before you could take a peek inside, you heard faint footsteps trail down the hall, scratchy and uneven breathing accompanying it. You floated to the ceiling, flattening yourself (and fumbling with your cape to make sure it didn’t hang down) as you clutched your weapon. You squinted in the darkness, holding your breath as the figure appeared.

Your eyes widened. “Karkat?” you whispered, and he jumped, a sharp gasp coming from him. You floated down, approaching him as his chest rose and fell unevenly. “Dude, calm down,” you chided, looking in his arms.

He held a pie tin full of green slime. You recognized it as sopor but stopped briefly to wonder how he got the substance.

After he had calmed down, his brows furrowed. He clenched the pie in his hands and looked up at you. “Dave, you can’t do this,” he whispered. It was surprisingly quiet.

“Yeah, I can. Are you doubting my strife skills?” you challenged.

He shook his head. “Gamzee is... He’s nearly unstoppable. He really is. He escaped from a fridge, which was _chained shut_ because he was sober _._ Also, you’d just make him angrier. Only I know how to calm him,” he replied, shifting to look past you.

You turned around, captchaloguing your katana and leading Karkat into the aforementioned room. His footsteps were loud- of course, that was because you were hovering over the ground while he had to _walk_ \- and you prayed to Skaia that Gamzee or whoever had been scuttling around in the vents wouldn’t hear him.

Karkat followed you into the passage, face laced with something akin to terror as the sound of machines whirred to life. You glanced around, locating the source of the green light.

Huge containers of white creatures curled in on themselves towered above you both, all filled with a clear liquid that glowed dimly. Pumps filtered food and water into the animals, who seemed vaguely familiar to you. _These must be the lusii Karkat was telling me about,_ you realized.

Said troll was approaching one of the smaller containers that held a bipedal crab, his face twisted in disbelief. A few bright red scratches trailed down the sides of the lusus, but they seemed faint and old.

You were snapped out of your thoughts when you heard a very quiet, almost unnoticeable _‘honk’_ and Karkat froze, eyes squeezing shut for a moment before he cracked one open and glanced around. His pupils shrunk as he focused on something to the right of both of you and you turned your head, body locking up instantaneously.

You tried to move, tried to do _something_ but you _couldn’t_ and your brain was telling you _‘run, run, run, fast, fear it, run.’_ Karkat took a shaky step forward before approaching the figure. It was a solid black, a blue cape and square, cracked glasses glinting slightly on it. Slightly sealed purple cuts ran along its face and its eyes were a deep orange. Their hair was messy and tall, swirly horns reached for the ceiling. A devious grin spread on their face and you felt more fear pulse into you.

Why were you so scared of this thing? Why couldn’t you move? And most importantly, _what the fuck was Karkat doing?_

He was approaching the figure, hand slightly raised. He seemed to be letting out a quiet “shhh,” but over the blood roaring in your ears, you couldn’t tell. The figure’s- you assume Gamzee- head snapped toward Karkat and you could suddenly move again, the fear draining out of you. Karkat was now only inches in front of Gamzee and he started papping him, trickling his claws along the figure’s chin. Slowly, Gamzee’s eyes faded to a bright yellow and the previous screech of his honking that you hadn’t been able to hear died down. They stared at each other before embracing each other, Karkat trembling profusely.

“I’m sorry,” you heard Karkat whisper before he pulled away from Gamzee and slapped the pie into his face briskly. Gamzee stumbled backward and fell, eyes immediately racing back to red and his expression shifting to one of pure rage once he shoved the pie tin from his face. Before the purple-blooded could do much more, Karkat swiped some of the sopor from Gamzee’s face and smeared it around his neck, causing the infuriated troll to fall limp and pass out.

You stared at the mess before you, mouth slightly open in shock. “What the fuck..?” you mumbled. Karkat was picking up Gamzee’s body with difficulty and you rushed over to help him. “What the fuck just happened?!” you repeated.

“Sopor makes trolls high. I smeared this on his... er.. well, he’s the most royal land dweller, so he also has these like,” Karkat motioned to his own neck, “gills. I put the sopor on them, and his body thought it was water, so... I think you get it,” he murmured, seeming a bit uncomfortable.

“Why did he pass out?” you asked, still in disbelief.

“Being covered with sopor causes a troll to get sleepy so when I smacked him in the face with the pie, he started getting pretty fucking tired.”

“Then... Where did you get the sopor?”

Karkat glanced to the side for a moment. “I took the pie tin from the room we found and gave it to Kanaya. They figured out how to make sopor a few hours ago, so... I figured I should help you.”

You quirked a brow. “How did you know the door was open?”

Karkat didn’t reply, instead opting to drag Gamzee to the fort. He wiped the mess of sopor from his face and slung it into a box he’d deployed a moment ago while you shut the massive vault door.

“What now?” Sitting cross-legged, you examined Karkat as he carefully gathered as much sopor from Gamzee’s neck- no, _gills-_ without doing any damage. The thought of a troll having actual, working gills seemed foreign to you. You knew the more royal blooded trolls had fins and shit, but they lived underwater anyway.

“We wait for him to wake up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for being so late with this  
> school is starting up and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa???????
> 
>  
> 
> comments inspire me to work faster ! also tell me abt plot holes because i bet there's 1 in this chapter somewhere


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> school sucks n shit sorry for not uploading
> 
> read [this](http://aromantic.wikia.com/wiki/Queerplatonic) if you dont know what a qpr/qpp/queerplatonic relationship is, before you read the chapter. thanks

You sat there with Karkat for about an hour, making idle chat. You had gotten up to get some soda from the fridge at one point and also grabbed a Faygo bottle- when had that gotten in there?- as you waited.

After it had been quiet for a while, you sighed. Might as well get this over with. “Karkat?” He hummed, running his hands through Gamzee’s hair and perking an eyebrow at you. “Why did Kanaya break up with you?” you asked.

He didn’t react for a moment, just continued petting Gamzee before he looked up at you. “I guess she was tired of me. I wasn’t a good moirail to her, anyway,” he shrugged. “She stopped talking about her problems to me and started talking to Rose about them after a while. If she wants to swap moirails I’m not going to stop her.” He cleared his throat, scratchy from yelling all day, and took a swig of water from his bottle.

You nodded idly in reply, taking another glance at Gamzee. Karkat had somehow managed to clear all of the sopor from his face, clothing, and gills. He had worn face paint, which had been a bit smeared, but now it was almost gone because of the mess the pie had made. The scratches on his face, now that you could see them, were completely healed. Purple marks were left there as scars, though, and seemed to be fading gray.

You took a sip of your soda since you’d run out of apple juice and were too lazy to alchemize more. Setting it down, you glanced up at Karkat. He was batting Gamzee’s cheek, murmuring something under his breath. When your gaze flickered back to Gamzee, his eyes were open, and you forced yourself not to take out your specibi or tense.

“Ayy, how’s it hangin’ my invertebrotha’?” the juggalo smiled, eyes slightly red. You sighed inwardly- he wasn’t sober. Good. You took a mental note to the fact that when he spoke, his volume wavered.

“Gamzee!” Karkat smiled, eyes shining. He pulled Gamzee in and buried his head in the nook of his neck, allowing the other troll to pat his back softly. You guess you shouldn’t be watching this- it was probably something intimate- but you couldn’t just walk out.

“Heyy, Karkat.” The clown smiled, eyes flickering to the ground for a moment before his smile dropped. “I’m sorry about what I did. It just wasn’t motherfuckin’ right,” he sighed. He really did seem apologetic for whatever the fuck he did while he was sober.

“It’s okay,” Karkat shooshed. Gamzee smiled again before his gaze flickered to you.

“Uh, hey there motherfucker,” he greeted. You nodded slightly, bumping fists with him.

“This is Dave,” Karkat supplied. “He’s my... best friend.”

Gamzee looked slightly hurt for a moment. “I thought I was your motherfuckin’ best friend,” he honked. Okay, woah, how did he just honk like that? You shook it off because like hell were you gonna ask.

“Oh.. Um,” Karkat scratched the back of his neck. “I thought we were moirails, now?”

Gamzee chuckled for a moment. You had to admit, he seemed really laid back now that he was stoned. He’d make a pretty chill friend. You guessed you’d have to extend the bedroom in the fort now for Gamzee, and maybe the Mayor because he never had a spot in the first place. “I’m just messin’ with ya, brotha’. Of course, we’re moirails.”

Gamzee and Karkat talked for a while and caught each other up on news. You cleaned up some of the messes in the fort and made practice with slicing some spare smuppets in half as they fell through the air.

“..a motherfuckin’ miracle,” you hear Gamzee snicker. You turned around, captchaloguing the ruined smuppets and returning your katana to your strife specibus card. Gamzee and Karkat exited the fort, both smiling with their arms wrapped around each other’s shoulders. It warmed your heart to see Karkat actually smiling, even if it wasn’t you who had made him do that. Woah, wait, when had you started thinking like that? Shaking it off, you followed the pair to the top of the stairs and shut the door behind them.

You floated ahead to the garbage chute and dumped all the smuppets, soda cans, and snack wrappers there before catching back up to Gamzee and Karkat. They were in the call, quietly discussing something. You decided not to bother them and instead opted to find out where Rose was. You kind of missed her.

She wasn’t in the common room, nor was she in her own room. You found Kanaya in her own respiteblock but she didn’t know where Rose was either. You decided to drift around and see if she was in a hallway or Can Town. Damn, you should really start hanging with the Mayor some more.

You touched your feet to the floor and began walking around because you hadn’t actually walked in a while. You ended up coming around a bend in the hall and seeing a storage closet, so you opened it out of curiosity.

Your brows scrunched when you saw a heap of alcohol before your eyes narrowed. Quickly, you captchalogued the bottles (of course you had to name them weird, they wouldn’t fit any other way). Rose shouldn’t have these stored around- she had told you to your face that she was going to quit!

You decided to let it pass, seeing as the closet was slightly dusted over. She couldn’t have broken her promise, you guessed.

When you floated back into the common room, Gamzee and Karkat were chilling on the couch. You sat on the far left, next to Karkat. Gamzee was enjoying some kind of alien food- you think it was grub loaf, it looked like bread with grubs in it anyway- and Karkat was talking about some of the romance movies you and he had watched together.

You noticed Kanaya stride into the room, apparently not noticing Gamzee’s horns or hair over the back of the couch. She opened the fridge before snatching a box of orange juice and puncturing it with her fangs before sucking on the area she’d opened. She sat on the chair to the right of the couch before she froze, gaze locked onto Gamzee.

“Ayy, how’s it hangin’?” the juggalo greeted. Kanaya squinted for a moment before laying back in her chair, legs crossed.

“Good. How about.. you?” she asked cautiously.

“I’m motherfuckin’ great! I know I did some pretty fucked up motherfuckin’ shit, but I’ve moved past it now,” he smiled, taking a sip of faygo he’d had decaptchalogued. You took a moment to glance over him once more.

He was tall- taller than even Kanaya- and had horns that wavered slightly. He had a few tears in his clothes, which happened to be a black T-Shirt with a purple Capricorn sign and a pair of black pants with dark gray polka-dots on them. His nails were extremely long and sharp, as well as his teeth, which were both yellow. His hair was tousled in all different directions and he had faint orange markings around his lips. You didn’t want to know what that was or meant.

Drifting back to the present, Gamzee was now getting up and following Karkat through the hallway. You floated over the back of the couch before landing and walking behind them. “..called Can Town, Dave and I have been helping the Mayor work on it. It’s pretty fuckin’ cool,” Karkat was saying. You all entered the room where Can Town resided and you greeted the Mayor, a faint smile on your lips.

 **‘Hello, Dave,’** he blinked. He was holding a few cans, legs splayed out in front of him as he worked on what looked like a hospital. **‘Who is that?’** the Mayor asked, eye flickering to Gamzee.

“Karkat’s moirail. We just... er, found him,” you shrugged. Seeing the Mayor made your insides flutter a bit.

“‘sup?” Gamzee bent down, glancing around. “Damn, this looks fuckin’ awesome,” he breathed. You plopped down next to the Mayor, taking a glance at the small paper that had the blueprints on it. Humming softly, you grabbed two cans and positioned them carefully onto the hospital, finding their center of gravity before backing your hands away slowly. The cans tilted into each other, creating a semi-pointed roof for the hospital. The Mayor nodded in approval.

You continued to stack cans like this for a while, all while the Mayor followed Karkat and Gamzee around so they didn’t knock any of the city down. When they had left, the Mayor skittered back in, tapping his hands together a few times. He walked around and made sure all the citizens were in place before grabbing the pack of chalk in the bin. He took out a pink and blue piece of chalk before sniffing them and waddling over to where you were still balancing cans.

Carefully avoiding the roads he’d previously drawn on the ground, he doodled a few small trees around the new hospital. He grabbed a can of Tab and placed it in front of the building before looking at you, eyes bright.

God, he was cute. You loved him.

...You should probably ask him that thing that’s been bugging you for forever, soon.

* * *

 

It’d been a few hours and you’d seen no sight of Gamzee or Karkat anywhere. You’d been hanging around with WV for a while, drawing in sketchbooks and talking about your plans for Can Town as well as some stuff you'd both been doing. Eventually, you’d both gotten some snacks before heading downstairs into the secret passage. Currently, you were holding the Mayor’s (surprisingly hard) hand, munching on some boiled peanuts as you walked down the stairs. Some mumbling reached your ears as you turned right.

You entered the fort, recognizing the muttering as one of Karkat’s romcoms. Your hand slid out of the Mayors and you cracked open another peanut, nibbling the gut before tossing the shell into the other cup you held. Sucking your fingers free of peanut juice briefly, you ducked into the movie room, glancing around in the darkness.

Karkat sat in a blanket cocoon, eyes flickering to you and the Mayor briefly before he gazed back into his husktop screen. His nose was below the blankets so only some of his hair, eyes, and horns poked out of the nest. He looked warm. Gamzee was nowhere to be found.

You captchalogued your peanuts for later, knowing they’d preserve well in your sylladex. You wiped your hands free of any saliva or peanut juice before sitting down, cross-legged, next to Karkat.

As the Mayor crawled next to you, you looked at the case. It was a troll film and you didn’t really bother to read the long-ass name, so you glanced back at the screen, then to Karkat. His eyes were gleaming, and it wasn’t just because of the light from his husktop. You glanced over at WV who had just finished a can of Tab and was handing it to you. You named it “Metal Cup” so it would rhyme with something in your sylladex before pulling your eyes back to the movie playing.

The two trolls on screen were talking about coffee, apparently. It was pretty boring to you, so you looked around again. Now that your eyes were adjusted to the darkness a bit more, you spotted a few small bottles of Faygo (dammit, Gamzee) and snack wrappers. You captchalogued that mess too, smirking at the appreciative noise Karkat made.

You grabbed your phone, scrolling through Pesterchum. Nobody interesting was online, so you sighed, leaning backward and staring at the ceiling.

You saw a blur of limbs before realizing the Mayor was signing something to you. You hummed, sitting up slightly to see what he was saying. **‘What’s wrong?’** he asked, eye glowing in the darkness.

 **‘Bored,’** you signed back, careful not to disturb Karkat in his blanket cocoon. The Mayor looked to the side for a moment before lying next to you, laying his arms out behind him and bringing his knees up slightly. You turned to him, staring into his dimly lit eye.

You’re not sure how long you were there,- maybe 11 minutes?- simply laying with him. You had eventually rolled onto your side and laid one of your hands onto his stomach- stomach? You’re not familiar with dersite anatomy. Your other arm had wound up under his head.

After about another 6 minutes of laying there, you took a deep breath before sitting up, watching WV’s eye flicker upward. He sat up, too, giving you a questioning glance. Turning around, you noticed Karkat asleep in his cocoon. Good.

Your hands running cold, you raised them, gulping as anxiety swirled in the bottom of your stomach. **‘Do you know what a QPR is?’** you signed slowly. The Mayor nodded, eyes flickering a bit.

You glanced at the back wall for a moment, as if it would give you assistance. Sadly, it did not, but it did calm you down a bit somehow.

 **‘Do you want to be my QPP?’** you asked quickly, before slapping your hands into your lap and grabbing your knees. Regret washed over you and you were about to raise your hands to take it back, but you’d already done it. _Wait for your heart to be broken, Dave. Fucker._ To your surprise, the Mayor’s eyes widened and he blinked rapidly a few times before glee shone in them.

 **‘Yes!’** WV responded, leaning forward and wrapping his arms around you. You sighed heavily, a big smile gracing your lips as you hugged him.

You felt something akin to happiness rush through you, as well as excitement. God that had been bothering you, but now you had finally gotten it off your chest and the Mayor had accepted you felt significantly better. Your heart flipped over a few times and you ended up on the floor with the Mayor again, smiling.

You didn’t know what to say, then, and neither did he, so you both lay there, content, for a while. Eventually, WV drifted off into sleep and you wrapped your arms around his middle before closing your eyes. You decaptchalogued a blanket and let it fall over you and the Mayor- oops, probably Karkat, too- before you let yourself fall asleep.

When you woke up next- about 2 hours after you’d let your consciousness slip- it was to Karkat prodding your side. Your eyes fluttered open and you groaned, pushing his face away. “Dude, can you fucking stop cuddling on the floor? I almost tripped over you,” Karkat asked, face twisted in both irritation and amusement.

You squinted in confusion before remembering what had happened with the Mayor. You smiled dumbly. “No can do, Karkles, I got myself a cute boy here and he is just begging for all that fluffy shit.”

Karkat’s eyes flashed between a few emotions before settling on bewilderment. “Since when are you the Mayor’s fucking matesprit?”

You ran through your head what all the quadrants were before your eyes widened. “Since never. We’re QPPs, dude.”

“What the fuck is a QPP?”

You sighed. “Alright, I’m going to sit you down and we’re gonna talk about weird ass human romance, ‘kay?” WV stirred in your arms and sat up, looking around.

Karkat made a weird noise. “I thought you only had one quadrant? What the actual fuck?”

You chuckled. “Yeah, we kind of do. Not everyone knows about QPPs,” you began, sitting up and stretching. “So basically a QPR is like a.. moirail, but you don’t have to comfort each other. Like you’re more than friends but you’re not dating- er, in a matespritship,” you corrected yourself. The Mayor was standing up and stretching, his little limbs reaching for the ceiling.

Karkat hummed. “What can you... do, in a QPR?”

“Well, you can cuddle your partner, or partners since you can have multiple QPPs, and kiss them on the cheek or whatever. Pretty much,” you breathed out. You still were surprised that WV had actually liked you back.

Karkat seemed to be glaring at you, but you know he was just concentrating. His brow was ruffled slightly. “Wait,” he started slowly. “Does this mean you’re a ‘homosexual,’ or whatever the fuck that word is?” he asked.

You spluttered for a moment, opening and closing your mouth. “No! You can be, uh, any orientation. In a QPR, I mean. I’m not gay.”

Karkat chuckled for a moment and the Mayor set his head in your lap after a moment of hesitation. “Well, uh,” Karkat tapped his chin. “Wanna watch a movie with me? Your pick, this time,” he offered.

“Fuck yeah,” you crawled over to the movie stack like an animal before grabbing a random movie. It was a troll one, of course, but the cover was interesting enough, so you tossed it at Karkat. He flailed and it hit his chest before he gripped it, glaring daggers at you. You snorted, crawling back over next to him. WV sat his head in your lap again and turned toward the husktop as Karkat inserted the movie.

As it started you ran your hand along the Mayor’s head. The feeling of happiness blossomed through you and you smiled, humming softly.

It was nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tell me what you think?  
> yeah  
> vague spoilers for next chapter in the tags if you know what i mean wink wonk


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw; drug use, internalized homophobia

A few days pass by. Vriska invites a few people to train. You attend, of course, because you’re bored, but only a few others- Terezi, Rose, and Kanaya- show up. You hang out with the Mayor a ton more and he starts sleeping in the fort occasionally, but only when both you and Karkat stay overnight in there. Rose asks why you three are always missing and you brush her off obviously, stating you just do ‘bro things’ like watching movies and stuff.

She had also learned about your relationship with the Mayor and proceeded to tell everyone else (with your permission, of course). That was okay, though. Gamzee sometimes hangs out with you all in the fort but always goes to his own respiteblock to sleep in, which you have no idea where the  _ fuck _ that is. You’re pretty certain he started black-flirting with Terezi, or whatever it was called, too, but that was none of your business.

Karkat keeps asking Kanaya about the recuperacoon, but she doesn’t exactly know how to make it. They’re working on it, they say. For now, Karkat has to cover his face in a mask of sopor like the rest of the trolls. Whatever.

You still dump candles in the vents so Terezi won’t find you. You also patched up the scratch in the wall with some clay and painted it- which, yeah, was probably unnecessary but whatever. 

Today you were hanging around the alchemizer. Rose and Kanaya were in the common room, reading a book you’d never seen. You briefly wondered when one would ask the other out. It was obvious they were gay for each other. Obviously.

You looked through the list of available codes for alchemizing. All of it was in alphabetical order, and there were about 20 pages front and back of them. You flipped to one of the last pages and read down the list. Water.. watch... wedding dress? Scanning the codes, you noticed one that was faint and had a few scribbles in a half-hearted attempt at “destroying” it. Squinting, you took your shades off and tried to make out what it was.

...What the fuck. Weed? As in, drugs, weed? Your eyes widened and you grabbed a pen, scribbling down the code on your hand and entering it. A hologram showed you a roll of, as you guessed, weed. Your jaw hung open and your arms lay limp at your sides as you tried to think about what the fuck was happening.

There was, actually, weed. You could get high as fuck on this and nobody would know. What the fuck. You alchemized some for the price of 420 grist, holy fuck, and held the blunt (you thought it'd be a bag but you guess not). You may not have actually ever smoked it but you had scented some from the backs of alleys.

..Damn, were you actually about to do this? You shrugged inwardly, scrolling through the list of codes. Some of the codes on the paper, including wine and liquor, were scratched out as well. You guessed some of the more addicting things, like cigarettes and alcohol, were probably going to try to be hidden. 

Shit. There you go. You made a lighter, also scribbling down the codes for these so you wouldn’t have to hunt them down. You’re not sure why you were keeping the codes since this was probably going to be a one-time thing. Before you left, you scribbled over the codes for liquor and alcohol. There we go, now Rose can’t do shit.

Probably.

You captchalogued all of this, stopping by the garbage chute to clean your sylladex out a bit. You made your way downstairs in the passage, which was surprisingly empty. You decided to enter the far right door, which was yet to be used. You closed it, but it bounced open a little. Broken lock. Whatever.

Sitting down, you deployed everything. The blunt and lighter. Fuck. You paused for a moment, thinking about how ridiculously stupid this was. You were about to fucking get high, and for no reason at all. You weren’t even depressed or anything, you were just  _ really bored _ . 

You don’t know if you were even doing this right since you’d never actually smoked or seen someone make a blunt, but whatever. If it didn’t work you wouldn’t do anything about it, anyway. Grabbing a lighter, you flicked it a few times (how the fuck do you turn this thing  _ on? _ ) before it caught, and you held it up to the end of the paper.

You turned the lighter off and sat it down, placing your mouth on the end of the blunt before inhaling deeply. You coughed as it burned- damn, was that supposed to happen?- and covered your mouth. You watched smoke from your nostrils rise into the vent shafts and  _ fuck, _ you hoped Rose didn’t know what weed smelled like.

Shit, you were only 13, how was this gonna work? You didn’t care much about your health, but you didn’t want to get too high... right?

You blinked, and you suddenly felt... weird. What the fuck? You’d only taken a hit like 20 seconds ago. You looked around, blinking slowly as you stood up. You don’t know why, but you smiled. Was this what Gamzee felt like? It felt nice. You liked this.

You felt your worries melt away like butter as you strode out of the room. You could clean your mess up later. You looked at the fort, smiling. Good memories took place here. Nice.

You heart footprints and turned to see Karkat entering the room. He jumped slightly when he saw you, then quirked a brow. “What the fuck? What are you doing, Dave?” he yelled. You scrunched your brows together. 

“I am so fucking high,” you snickered. “Holy shit, Karkles.”

“What- what? You’re high? Like, fucking, actually high? On sopor?” Karkat asked, shocked.

“Nah, dude... I’m like..” you trailed off, looking at the blunt before taking another puff. You exhaled, watching the smoke rise and giggling to yourself. “Woah..”

Karkat’s jaw was practically touching the floor. You looked down. Fuck. Were you hurting the floor? Fuck, oh no. You didn’t want to hurt the floor. You stepped back, but that just meant you were stepping on more floor. “Oh, no.. I’m so sorry,” you whispered. You, forgetting you could fly, stood on one foot, trying to hold your balance.

“Holy shit, what the fuck. Okay, first off, give me that thing,” Karkat snatched the blunt from you, causing you to wobble. You fell forward and Karkat lunged toward you, grabbing your shoulders and stopping you from falling. “Shit. Gogdammit,” he muttered, brows furrowed. He turned the blunt over in his hands a few times before captchaloguing it. “Dave, why. Why did you- how the fuck did you even get this shit?” he mumbled.

You stared at the floor, still in Karkat’s arms. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to hurt you,” you said, looking down. You kneeled slowly, careful to not harm the delicate metal. You stroked it, smiling softly. “It’s okay,” you whispered.

Karkat laughed, full-out, clutching his stomach and doubling over. “Dave, holy shit, how strong is this shit? Are you actually apologizing to the  _ floor _ ?” he spluttered.

You nodded, a smile crossing your lips before you started chuckling. Of course, you weren't _that_  out of it- it was just funny to think that some people actually did think you were hurting the floor. When they were high, you mean. You'd read a Tumblr story on it once.

Karkat coughed, and you looked up at him. Fuck. Did he try smoking some of it? Whatever, you could just stop him from doing anything stupid. You stood up, standing , mind you!- and watching the troll try the blunt out. He puffed a second time before handing you the blunt. He seemed confused. “Well, that was a waste of time,” he coughed again, making smoke billow to the ceiling.

You hummed before letting yourself fall back into his arms. He was really warm and soft, so you nuzzled your cheek into his sweater. He had his arms hooked under your armpits and he pulled you up- damn, he was tall- before setting you back down. You looked him in the eyes for a second, watching his pupils expand ever so slightly. His usually grumpy face seemed to relax a bit.

“Dude..” you whispered, backing away from him and looking at your hands for a moment. You turned them over, clenching them and wiggling your fingers around as if you’d just used them for the first time. “Have you ever noticed, that like.. When you want to move your hands and stuff, you don’t have to  _ tell _ them to move, they just, like...  _ do _ it?” you said. You guessed you were ironic about that, but really, you found it kind of amazing. Shit, you should totally add this to SBaHJ.

Karkat, who seemed kind of out of it now, looked at his own hands. “Yeah... Woah. You are so fucking smart,” Karkat whispered excitedly. “Holy shit this is so fucking weird.”

You laughed for a moment, looking around. “Bro.  _ Bro. _ This is great,” you dissolved into laughter, crumpling to the ground and just giggling on the floor. You had a big, dopey smile on your face. “Have I ever told you..” you drawled out, watching as Karkat sat on the floor, “how fucking beautiful you are? Like damn... can I pet you?” you asked.

“Yeah, sure,” Karkat leaned down. You started patting his hair, god, his hair was so soft. “Dude,” Karkat breathed. You don’t know why you two were saying ‘dude’ so much, but it just felt right. “Your hair. It’s so fucking soft.” Karkat ran his hand through your hair, batting your hand out of the way.

You felt your own hair. “Holy shit. You’re right. Damn,” you chuckled. “So, dude.. why do you have horns?” You would have touched them, but you didn’t know if he’d get mad so you held off. Instead, you kept playing with his hair as he laid his head in your lap.

“Man... I have no idea. Well, trolls can speak through like, these weird sounds that rattle our horns, but that’s it. Fuck. Wait. Okay, holy shit. This is fucking amazing,” Karkat chortled. “You’re really warm,” he commented, rubbing his face in your stomach.

You hummed, looking around. “I’m hungry,” you said, pushing his head out of your lap. He made a weird noise of disapproval but got up anyway, wobbling slightly. You strode to the stairs before looking up them, your tongue stuck out slightly. How were you going to get up these things? They all looked 3 feet high to your high ass.

Karkat bumped into you on accident, mumbling a “sorry” before gripping onto the railing and stumbling up the stairs. You think his foot slipped but he didn’t fall. Instead, you decided to follow him, trying very hard not to fall. SBaHJ's voices whispered warnings about stairs in the back of your mind.

Once you made it up, you shut the door behind you two and somehow made it to the kitchen. You kept on looking around or grabbing Karkat so you wouldn’t get lost because fuck, you had no idea where you were going.

Eventually, you two made it to the common room. You saw Rose on the couch, writing something. Was it her weird fan fiction? You don’t know. She glanced up at you and smiled before going back to her writing. You glanced at Karkat, who was just staring at the fridge.

You followed his gaze and found yourself looking at the fridge, too. For no reason in particular, you smiled, before cracking up. Karkat chuckled before grabbing his side and doubling over. You felt a tear roll down your face as you gasped for air. You had never laughed so hard in your life, and here you were, laughing at a fridge for no real fucking reason.

Karkat’s knees gave out and you followed him onto the floor shortly after, curling up. You had no idea what you were laughing at now, and from how hard you were squeezing your eyes shut you could see little colors spiraling in your vision.

You’re not sure when she got here, but you looked up, still crying tears of joy and snorting, as Terezi nudged you with her foot. She had a shit-eating grin and leaned down to sniff you. “Wow,” she snickered. Karkat gripped your shoulder, gulping air as he attempted to calm down. You yourself were lessening down on the laughter, body aching from where you’d hit it on the ground. You stood up, wiping your tears with a stupid smile on your face. 

“Holy shit, Karkat,” you breathed. “This is great.” He nodded along, munching on a granola bar. You should probably stop saying "this is great." You tore a piece from his and downed it, marveling at how absolutely  _ wonderful _ it tasted. “This is so fucking good,” you whispered, mouth full.

Rose cleared her throat and you threw a look over your shoulder at her. She was grinning deviously. “Dave, are you high?” she queried. You nodded. She didn’t seem mad, so that was a win. Terezi was still trying to sniff your weed-breath. You pushed her away and blinked a few times because your eyes kind of burned.

You forgot about food for a minute as you walked around, feeling the couch. It was so soft- how did you not notice this before? It was practically calling your name, so you plopped down on it and sunk into the cushions. Karkat rolled over the back of the couch and the extra weight caused you to dip slightly.

You kept staring at him, that dopey smile never once leaving your lips. You’re not sure when you felt it, but in a brief moment of realization, you realized how much you loved him. Gog, you spent every day with him that you could, and you never left his side. Every time you were near him you felt something stir in you and before now you had chalked it up to fear or being uncomfortable, but it was a  _ pleasant _ feeling and fuck,  _ fuck _ you loved him. Bro would be pissed.

Something caused you to frown before your face became as unreadable as always. A surge of doubt, fear, regret, and  _ hatred _ pulsed through you and you stood up, wiping any stray tears and looking back at Karkat.

You were still a little high but in the last few seconds you’d sobered up  _ quick _ and the thoughts running through your head were loud and bad and you couldn’t breathe and-

Fuck. You found yourself walking to your room, Karkat calling after you. Self-hatred poured into you as you ignored him. You wanted to turn back and hug him, comfort him, but you couldn’t because that would be  _ gay  _ and you weren’t gay, no sir, Bro had taught you that gay meant bad and you weren’t bad.

Bro. The thought of him made you sick. You started walking faster to your respiteblock before you were just floating quickly toward it, locking the door behind you. Your hands trembled slightly as your high wore off and you shivered despite being warm.

You weren’t gay. You can’t be gay, you can’t, no, Karkat was your  _ friend _ and you didn’t like him like that. Fuck. Fucking hell.

Someone knocked at the door. “Fuck off!” you screamed, knitting your eyebrows together as  _ something _ coiled inside you. You felt horrible. Not only sick, your heart ached and you ignored it stubbornly. 

You didn’t know what to do.

You didn’t want things to be this way.

...

You really wanted to die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've never smoked weed or anything or been near someone while they were high so i asked some people i know about how they felt when they did and just threw together what i gathered lmao  
> haaaaaaaaaaa idk what im writing now  
> all this shit is getting way too ooc and i fucking hate it ughghhghhghghhg fuck


	7. Chapter 7

You don’t know what happened. Well, you do, but you were scared to admit it even to yourself.

You hadn’t left your room for 3 days before you went out to get something to eat and to piss. You were starving, tired because you hadn’t slept, and had a plethora of messages from people you’d been ignoring. You now had been doing nothing but laying down for about 4 days, and god you felt horrible. _So_ horrible.

You now were laid down in your dark respiteblock on your bed, staring blankly at the wall. Your eyes were crusted over and your stomach begged for food. Your phone pinged again- the noise notification for Pesterchum- and you exhaled slowly, blinking. You reached out, grabbing your phone and unlocking it.

You had too many new messages. Too many.

 

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] \--  
CG: DAVE?  
CG: PLEASE DON’T IGNORE ME.  
CG: WHAT DID I DO WRONG?  
CG: WAS IT SOMETHING I SAID, OR...  
CG: ...  
CG: DAVE?  
CG: I DON’T KNOW WHAT I DID.  
CG: ...  
CG: OKAY, I GET IT, YOU’RE MOPING, PLEASE FUCKING ANSWER ME.  
CG: SORRY. FOR WHATEVER I DID.  
CG: PLEASE MESSAGE ME BACK.  
\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] \--

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] \--  
CG: DAVE?  
CG: IT’S BEEN TWO DAYS.  
CG: WHY AREN’T YOU LEAVING YOUR ROOM?  
CG: EVERYONE’S WORRIED.  
CG: CAN YOU STOP BEING A FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT FOR LIKE THREE SECONDS AND ACTUALLY FUCKING ANSWER ONE OF US?  
CG: IT DOESN’T EVEN HAVE TO BE *ME.*  
CG: COME ON DAVE.  
CG: ...  
CG: FINE, BE THAT WAY.  
\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] \--

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] \--  
CG: KANAYA SAID SHE SAW YOU LEAVE YOUR ROOM TODAY BUT I FUCKING BET YOU DIDN’T TALK TO ANYONE.  
CG: SORRY.  
CG: ROSE THINKS IT’S HER FAULT.  
CG: ...  
CG: YOU KNOW YOU CAN TELL ME WHAT’S WRONG, RIGHT?  
CG: OR SOMETHING, I DON’T KNOW. I PROBABLY WAS THE ONE WHO PISSED YOU OFF OR SOMETHING ANYWAY.  
CG: SORRY. ABOUT THAT.  
CG: OKAY. I’M GOING.  
\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] \--

 

Your heart ached. It wasn’t Karkat’s fault, or anyone’s, it was _yours_ and you know you were just being fucking retarded, come on Dave, we get it, you’re sad. Fuck.

 

\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] \--  
TT: Dave, why did you run off?  
TT: If it’s any consolation, I have requested everyone leave the common room so you may meet me there.  
TT: We could even discuss whatever is wrong over text if you are more comfortable with it.  
TT: It would be appreciated if you could message me back whenever you are feeling better.  
\-- tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] \--

 

You frowned. You felt pretty bad- she hadn’t messaged you back after that. Probably thought about it, but had let you have your space. You missed her.

 

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] \--  
EB: hey dave!  
EB: rose said something about you being not well and she wanted me to message you about it or something?  
EB: soooooooo... what’s up?  
EB: i guess you’re not on?  
EB: well, i guess i can tell you about my time on the ship.  
EB: jade and i have been hanging out with all the salamanders and stuff. some of them are still wearing my bed sheets for some reason.  
EB: it’s kinda cute to be honest!  
EB: and jade has been hanging out with dave sprite more often now, too.  
EB: so weird.  
EB: nanna keeps making cakes and cookies for everyone, but i’ve gotten really sick of it now.  
EB: i guess i just got tired of it after a while.  
EB: oh well.  
EB: well, i gotta go. jade, dave sprite, and some of the salamanders wanted to watch some of my awesome movies tonight!  
EB: seeya dude!  
\-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] \--

\-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] \--  
GA: You Appear To Be Going Through One Of Your Human Breakdowns  
GA: Although I Do Suppose It Is Not Such An Alien Thing Seeing As I Myself Have Had A Few Breakdowns  
GA: Nonetheless I Have Been Told To Contact You And Offer A Non-Romantic Feelings Jam Over This Chat Client  
GA: Unless Of Course You Are Ignoring Your Phone In Which I Suppose That Would Not Be An Option  
GA: ...  
GA: Okay Bye  
\-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] \--

 

You sighed, letting your phone hit you in the sternum. Even _John_ had messaged you. Kanaya had probably only contacted you because of Rose, but that was reasonable. She was concerned.

You decided that, here and now, you were going to stop being a fucking pussy and actually leave your respiteblock, apologize to everyone, and start hanging out with people again. Looking at yourself in your mirror, you half-heartedly fixed your hair. Grabbing some clothes and a towel from your sylladex, you left your room and stumbled into one of the many bathrooms.

You took a quick shower and did your business, sighing at yourself as you pulled on your new clothes. You definitely felt better physically, but you were so tired- you’d only had about 7 hours of sleep over the last week and that was because you hit your head on the wall too hard. Whoops.

As you exited the bathroom, it occurred to you that you hadn’t eaten in 4 days. Your stomach wasn’t actually rumbling but instead aching as if someone were stabbing knives into your insides. Whatever. You dragged your sorry-ass to the common room, surprising Vriska and Terezi, who were cuddling on the couch. “Uhh... Hey,” Vriska greeted. She pulled her phone out and you somehow knew she was contacting Rose without actually looking at the screen.

You grabbed some water and made a quick sandwich before sitting down. The couple on the couch kept glancing at you wearily, whispering among themselves. You didn’t care. You downed your sandwich and started drinking your water, eyes struggling to stay open.

You’re not sure when Rose came into the room, but when she did she hugged you immediately. You capped your water behind her back before wrapping your arms around her. She pulled back after a bit, worry clear in her eyes. “What happened?” she asked. You shrugged, not really knowing how to explain that you were scared of being gay. Not that you were gay. Fuck.

Rose sighed. “You do know you can tell me anything, yes?” she sat down next to you. You nodded, face still unreadable.

“I just don’t know how to say it. Or even why. I mean, I guess I know, but it’s fucking retarded and there’s gotta be something else bothering me because that couldn’t be it.”

Rose hummed. “Is it my fault? Why you holed yourself up, I mean,” she queried.

“No sir,” you replied. She smiled at that.

“Still making subtle jokes, I see,” she said quietly. Her eyes flickered back behind the couch for a moment, something akin to surprise flashing in them. “Hello, Karkat.”

You tensed, throwing your head back to see the troll. He looked pained but when he saw you he seemed a lot happier. It made your insides churn. “Dave?” he asked in disbelief. You pressed your lips tight as the feeling- god, that _damn_ feeling you didn’t want to label- spread through you at the sight of him. His hair was tousled this way and that, bags hanging under his eyes. His eyes seemed _duller_ than usual.

“Hey, Karkles,” you greeted, your voice scratchy from disuse. Karkat smiled faintly before looking to the side.

“Can you, um... come.. to the place?” he asked. “The Mayor is pretty worried about you,” he sighed.

“What do you mean ‘the place?’” Rose asked, ears perked in curiosity. Terezi and Vriska seemed interested as well.

Karkat opened and closed his mouth a few times, panic causing him to lock up. You decided to cut in. “It’s nothing, swearsies on it. Yeah, I’ll come. Is he there?” you asked, yawning.

“Yeah, and Gamzee is too,” Karkat let out a breath he’d been holding. You walked around the couch, sipping from your water. Nobody followed you two, thankfully.

“Ah, shit, hold on,” you muttered, rubbing your eyes. You searched your sylladex for a moment before finding a candle and looking around for a vent. You tossed it in, sealing it shut before turning back to Karkat. “That’s better,” you yawned again.

Karkat hummed, turning around and leading you to the passage. He opened it, locking it shut after you. You floated down the stairs, grateful you had the power to do so. Upon entering the fort, you were attacked by a small dersite who launched himself at you in a hug. You smiled, folding your arms behind his back and nuzzling the top of his head. “Sorry,” you mumbled to the Mayor.

He didn’t move back to reply, but instead raised on his tippy toes. You leant down a bit to assist him with whatever he was doing when you felt something soft on your cheek for a moment. You blushed, realizing the Mayor had just given you a kiss on the cheek. Chuckling softly, you squeezed his hand for a moment before walking into the movie room. Gamzee was sitting in there, new face paint on, when you sat down. Karkat sat on your right, the Mayor on your left.

“Why didn’t you reply to anyone, or more importantly, why did you stay in your room for so long?” Karkat snapped after a beat of silence. You winced, turning toward him. Worry glinted in his eye, and you guessed he could only express it through anger.

You looked down, gripping your knees with your hands because you didn’t know what to do with them. You obviously couldn’t tell Karkat that, ‘oh, sorry dude, I was just freaking out because I’m totally in love with you and didn’t want to admit it,’ and _fuck_ you are not gay stop it!

You sighed, shaking your head. “I..” you trailed off. You couldn’t lie to Karkat, it would hurt you too much to do that. “I don’t want to talk about it, really,” you mumbled instead. Karkat opened his mouth before just staring angrily at you. You suppressed a yawn and instead your head dipped slightly, as if you were nodding off. Fuck.

“Okay,” he replied. You needed to do something, anything, because you couldn’t just _pretend_ it didn’t happen but you couldn’t tell him why you were away. You could probably talk to Rose, but the only reason you didn’t before was because Vriska and Terezi were there.

You found yourself struggling to keep your eyes open again and you guessed Karkat noticed this, because he tapped your shoulder and pointed to the bedroom. You got up and stumbled there, not bothering to put your blanket on. Karkat turned a fan on and you closed your eyes, falling asleep almost immediately.

When you awoke, you felt a body pressed against your stomach and someone at your back. Looking down, the Mayor had, at some point, wiggled himself into the crease of your stomach, breathing softly as he snoozed. Whoever was at your back was obviously asleep and you had a sinking feeling that it was Karkat. It also made your stomach flutter a little. Maybe.

Craning your head backward, you made out two nubby horns, and- yep, Karkat was asleep next to you. You guessed it was ‘late,’ and, checking your phone, you confirmed that. It was 2:36 AM apparently. Whatever.

You weren’t really tired, but you knew you couldn’t get up. That would risk waking up Karkat _and_ WV, and gog forbid you do that. Instead, you wrapped your arms around the Mayor and pulled him closer to you, snuggling your face over his own for a moment. Something in your head shouted ‘ _gay!_ ’ but you pushed it aside. This was a QPR, jegus.

You decided to just lay there until everyone started to wake up. It wouldn’t be hard- you’d been staying awake overnight for days, anyway, and this would only take about 6 hours and a half.

Over this time, you thought about some of the music you could make when everyone decides to wake up. You got a good beat and started to map words out in your head, thinking about some random things you might be able to photograph, or some things you could draw later on.

Eventually, Karkat stirred, grumbling quietly. You felt his breathing become uneven because he was pressed up against you (and god if that didn’t send butterflies to your tummy) but he just lay there for about 7 minutes before actually getting up. You watched him stretch, clean the sopor off his face, and look at you and the Mayor, apparently not noticing you were awake due to your shades.

He left soon after and a bit later the Mayor woke up, turning around to look at you. You gave him a tiny smile to let him know you were awake before rolling away from him and standing up. You stretched, popping your knuckles and rolling your head on your neck before leaving the fort. You felt pretty well-rested considering the fact that you had about 16 hours of sleep.

Entering the common room, you made yourself some black coffee before looking around. Kanaya was discussing fashion shit with Terezi, Vriska, and Rose, while Karkat and Gamzee were laid on the floor not really doing anything. Karkat was sipping at some coffee and was sat in Gamzee’s lap which, you admit, was pretty fucking adorable.

You took your spot next to them and the Mayor skedaddled to your right, sitting cross-legged next to you. You’re not sure where he had gotten it from, but he held a green juice box. WV never fails to be adorable.

You nursed your coffee cup, listening to the girls’ conversation and thinking about some of the raps you’d written down. While doing this, you had begun bobbing your head unknowingly and murmuring some of the lyrics. Whoops.

Soon enough Gamzee was leading Karkat away. You didn’t want to follow because Karkat seemed kind of down and they were probably going for a feelings jam. You decided you were going to make those songs you’d thought of a reality, so you stood up, the Mayor’s hand in your own, and placed your cup in the sink. You threw his juice box away for him before leading him to your room, closing the door behind you two for no real reason.

“You can sit on the bed, I’m going to start mixing some music,” you supplied, turning your turntables on. You set up your computer and handed the Mayor an earbud as you sat down, cracking your knuckles.

You started out with using basic samples you’d made years ago- tapping on wood, a low buzzing’s pitch that would be raised or dropped, the sound of a ruler being vibrated.. stuff like that. You set down the beat, running through your head what you wanted to make and when it would play.

You added some subtle notes in the background that would help with the flow of the music as well as a base line, humming softly along to the music. You jotted down some of the lyrics on a piece of paper that you’d thought up earlier- those would come last. You stuck your tongue out a bit in concentration- something you’d picked up from Terezi a while back- and began messing around with the turntables.

Soon enough, you had everything completed. The notes played well together in harmony and you noticed in your peripheral vision that WV was nodding his head along to the rhythm. You could record yourself rapping now, but you decided you wanted to do it later. Instead, you added a few trills and a faint, hard-to-hear dog barking in the background. You intended it as a joke, but you quickly found it actually worked incredibly well with the song. You played around with the speed as well until it marked a perfect “4:13.” You’re not sure why, but everyone (including yourself) had a strange obsession with that number. It reminded you of John.

You turned the music off, swivelling your chair to face WV. “What do you think?” you asked.

 **‘I think it is amazing,’** he signed happily. That made you happy. Wow.

“Thanks,” you replied, letting a smirk fall on your lips. Your guard was always down around the Mayor, you noticed. And maybe Karkat too, you guessed. Maybe. A little.

You tried to not think about Karkat, but it was hard. You didn’t want to, because it made you feel weird and all fluttery and you fucking hated it but god you didn’t and- fuck. You were rambling in your own head now. The Mayor gave you a worried glance, but you just shrugged, sighing. “Wanna go outside?” you asked.

He nodded in response, hopping off your bed and placing the earbud he had been using on your laptop. You led the way to a transportalizer and dissipated to another one, winding through rooms and hallways until you found the exit. Once out, you took a deep breath.

The air wasn’t ‘fresh’ by any means, but it was a helluva lot better than the stuffy shit in the lab. It was also a little bit brighter out here, but not by much.

Some buildings jutted out from the ground and you recognized a few of them. You had to transportalize to these ones, you knew. Some you weren’t sure what were for, but you guessed you just needed to explore more. Only gog knows how big this fucking maze was.

You were startled from your thoughts as the Mayor tugged on your sleeve. You glanced down at him. **‘Can you lift me up?’** he asked. Rather than replying, you picked him up bridal style before floating up into the sky, tightening your hold on him so he wouldn’t get scared. His eyes brightened happily, glee shown clear in them. His hands were around your neck and he pulled himself closer to you, still sweeping his eyes around in disbelief.

He pointed down after a bit and you drifted down until your feet touched, where you let him go and he stood up. He seemed a bit wobbly on his feet, but you steadied him with a hand. “What do you wanna do now?” you asked, bored out of your mind.

WV tapped his chin in thought before shrugging. **‘Where is Karkat?’** he signed.

“I’ll message him,” you replied as you pulled your phone out.

 

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] \--  
TG: hey  
TG: where are you  
TG: its boring as fuck here  
CG: MY RESPITEBLOCK.  
CG: WHY?  
TG: i just said why  
TG: im bored  
TG: also the mayor was wondering  
CG: WHY NOT HANG OUT WITH ROSE?  
TG: man shed just psychoanalyze me and fuck all if i wanna go through that shit again  
CG: OH.  
CG: WHERE ARE YOU?  
TG: fuck if i know this place is like a maze  
TG: that you live in i guess  
TG: and eventually learn to kind of navigate but you still kind of get lost  
TG: and stuff  
CG: OK, FINE, I’LL BE IN CAN TOWN OR SOMETHING  
TG: k  
TG: seeya there  
\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] \--

 

You wondered briefly if you _really_ wanted to see Karkat before mentally punching yourself. Of course you do. You’d been avoiding him for a week (as well as everyone else, whoops), you could handle this shit. You _just_ slept with him and the Mayor, anyways. Jegus, that sounded wrong in your head.

Shaking the thought off, you made your way to Can Town, trying to shove down whatever guilt tried to resurface along the way.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok fam this chapter is short but thats bc the last one was long and i?? hope thats ok??  
> im working on another fic rn anyway and im not sure where i want this one to head bc.. slow burn and shit, and i want it to be realistic and all that Jazz

You stepped into Can Town. Karkat was walking around, looking at some of the buildings he hadn’t helped build before you scuffed the floor with a slipper to let him know you were there. He turned around, and, upon seeing you, a small smile lifted his lips. He quickly suppressed it though, donning a frown in place of it. “Yo,” you greeted, allowing the Mayor to quickly skirt the edge of the town to check and make sure none of the buildings had been knocked over.

You made your way to Karkat, shoving your hands in your pockets. It was awkward as fuck- neither of you knew what to say or do. You ended up waiting for the Mayor to come back over, and when he did, you still had nothing to say- that is, until a stupidly amazing idea came into your head.

“Dude, we should play like, those kid games. Like Uno or some shit,” you stated, looking up at Karkat.

“That...” he started, “is quite possibly the _stupidest_ idea I’ve _ever_ heard,” he grumbled. After a few seconds of silence, he picked up. “I love it.” You smiled stupidly, thinking about something you could play. The first thing that came to mind was hopscotch because it was a pretty childish game.

“Okay, I have an idea.” You led Karkat and the Mayor to an empty room, about as large as the room Can Town resided in. You tapped your chin before asking the Mayor for some red chalk, which he handed over with a gleam in his eye. “Know what hopscotch is?” you asked the two.

“What?” Karkat grunted as you moved him to the side, already kneeling on the ground and dragging the chalk down. You created a few boxes and marked them, your tongue again sticking out like in all those ‘pleb’ memes. Sitting up, you showed it off to the two on the floor.

“So how the fuck does it work?” You snorted at that.

“You do like, this,” you started, before hopping on one foot, then two, then one, etc. until you reached the end. “You do that, and to spice it up a 'lil... Whoever does it faster gets coffee from the loser in the morning,” you challenged. “And has to make the Mayor some, too.”

Karkat grinned. “It’s on!” he declared, marching up to the chalk drawings. WV was sitting down, watching you two curiously with his head on his knees. You observed Karkat, hands in your pockets, as he skipped along the chalk quickly. Oh, but you could do better.

You cracked your knuckles, pumping your legs briefly before hopping over the markings in record time. Karkat scowled, retrying a few times until he beat your score. Well, you’re not sure that he did, but by the look of accomplishment on his face, you decided he did.

“How many rounds are we doing this?” he asked, and you shrugged. “WV?”

The Mayor glanced up before signing, **‘You should twist it up a bit.’**

“But how?” Karkat asked, not to anyone in particular. You pursed your lips for a moment before snapping your fingers. Rubbing the chalk off with your foot, you grabbed the chalk again before drawing a pattern on the floor. When you looked back at it, you couldn’t hold back a chuckle of amusement.

“Gog- fuck, Dave, really?” Karkat asked, faking exasperation. A childish glimmer shone in his eye, though, letting you know he wasn’t really mad.

“Yep,” you sighed with a smirk. You had cleverly drawn the pattern into the shape of a ‘human dick,’ and you thought it was genius. The Mayor seemed to think it was funny, too, so you gave yourself a mental high five.

You skipped along the chalk, wobbling slightly at the end because you had to hop a few spaces on one foot. Karkat beat your record with ease- something you’re not quite sure how he did.

When you went again, you ended up slipping before squeezing your eyes shut, bracing yourself for impact before you remembered you could float. Fumbling your limbs around as you slowed time down, you put yourself in your best ‘draw me like one of your french girls’ poses before speeding time up again, smirking. “‘sup,” you huffed, out of breath.

Karkat looked petrified, scared for your health, before he burst out laughing. “Jegus Christ, Strider,” he wheezed. “Okay, let’s do something new.”

“'Aight, hold on, though,” you got up, grabbing the chalk again. You walked over to one of the walls before making a T-Chart, putting your name on the left and his on the right. In Karkat’s, you added one tally mark. “Shit, dude. What now?”

Karkat looked around before snatching the chalk from your hand. He marked a line on one side of the room before jogging to the other one, adding another line. “We can race,” he declared, jogging back to you.

“Okay,” you replied. “Actually, what if we race two rounds, each with the Mayor on our backs?” you asked.

The troll contemplated this before nodding with that same playful glint from earlier in his eyes. “I’ll carry him first,” you decided, turning around and looking at the Mayor for approval of this situation. He said nothing, but instead simply crawled up your back and wrapped his arms and legs around you. You walked over to the starting line, readying yourself aside Karkat. “Ready to get your ass handed to you, Karkles?”

He flashed his teeth at you, brows meeting, before turning to the end of the room. “3.. 2.. 1.. Go!” he shouted, dashing forward. You flash-stepped ahead, seeing as he got a head start anyway. He seemed confused at this because he glanced at you, face unreadable before he stumbled. You grabbed his hand in a panic and swung him to your left, a trick you’d learned as a kid to stop his momentum so he wouldn’t get that hurt.

He, for some reason, grabbed your other hand, and before long you realized... You guys were kind of dancing. Spinning in a circle like this, trusting each other not to let go. Sometime after this, the Mayor jumped down and joined the circle until you were all laughing gleefully and circling each other.

Your heart felt warm and you were happy- so happy, because of these dumb kiddy games. It was silly, but oh you felt so good and wonderful. That thought alone sent butterflies to your tummy, seeing as it was your QPP and Karkat doing this to you. You told yourself it was mainly because of WV, but something told you otherwise. You shook the thought off. You weren’t about to get all defensive and shit, dammit!

Eventually, you collapsed on the ground next to Karkat, catching your breath. You glanced over at him and he stared at you, a smile on both of your lips. You looked toward the Mayor, too, and he seemed content with laying there for a while.

Your eyes flickered to something in your peripheral vision and you frowned, staring at Vriska and Terezi, who was slinking away and snickering to themselves. “Fuck off!” you shouted.

Karkat followed your gaze and scowled, sighing. “Well, at least I get free coffee in the morning,” he hummed.

“Aw, shit, I totally forgot about that,” you wiped the sweat from your forehead. It was hot as hell in here.

You three laid there for a while, simply staring at the ceiling in a comfortable silence. Eventually, Karkat broke it. “Wanna watch a movie?” he asked, glancing at you two.

 **‘I would, but I’m tired,’** the Mayor replied. Then, he _yawned_ , and gog if that wasn’t cute.

“Okay. Karkat and I are going to the fort if you wanna come with since I actually have no idea where you sleep. Actually, no, where _do_ you sleep? Like, not in Can Town or anything, right?” you asked.

The Mayor just blinked at you, looking to the side. **‘Yeah, I do sleep in Can Town.’**

Your expression scrunched up. “We can get you a respiteblock, dude,” you offered.

**‘No, thank you. I’m okay with sleeping in Can Town, it kind of is like my room anyway.’**

“Whatever, dude. Seeya,” you murmured, leading Karkat along the various hallways and through one or two transportalizers until you reached the door. You looked around, as always, before pushing it open. Karkat stumbled down the stairs and, after you locked it, you too drifted down them.

Making your way into the fort, he already had deployed his stacks of movies. You noticed a few new ones he must have alchemized and he chose one of those, decaptchaloguing his husktop and inserting the disk. He sat on a pillow and grabbed a few blankets, making a nest for himself. After a moment of thought, he made room for you so you could crawl in too as the movie began.

Karkat kept commenting on some of the bad parts of it, you asking a few questions about troll culture as well, per usual. Eventually, seeing as the movie was really long and you were pretty tuckered out from all the shit you’d done earlier, you ended up curling up in the blanket cocoon. Your head was on Karkat’s thigh, and he tensed for a moment before putting a hand on your shoulder.

You suppressed a smile before fluttering your eyes closed, for the first time in a while feeling safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wowowoza  
> you guys arent commenting. like ever. and im. getting pretty worried? so it would be appreciated if you could uhh maybe say smth?? i keep refreshing the page like every hour and just. hh  
> yeah.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updated the tags for future ships and all that  
> obvs if you dont want spoilers dont look at it but hhhh
> 
> lots of tws  
> tw; gore, decapitation, deceased bodies, pain in partial detail. references to death, references to past childhood abuse, references to sopor/temporary personality-altering drugs. mental instability, breakdowns, panic attacks, hurt/comfort. probably some more shit too, keep a lookout.

You’re not sure what was going on.

You’d been really good all day- you got up early, well rested for the first time in quite some time, got some coffee for you and Karkles, hung out with everyone.. Hell, you’d even had a decent conversation with _Vriska,_ of all people!

But now, you found yourself lying in your bed. It was dark, as always, since there were no lights, but you found that comforting to some extent. You were alone, of course- you’d abandoned everyone when you felt a random onslaught of _something_ in your core and just... You needed this.

You’d never felt this; at least, you don't remember ever feeling this way. It wasn’t this bad when _Bro_ died, and that’s really saying something. 

Your stomach churned and your chest was tight- god, so tight, you couldn’t breathe- and your throat was clenched shut and there was something like a ball in it that make it hard to swallow.

You let out a dry sob and closed your eyes, hoping that nobody heard that. Images of John, Jade, of Bro, and Karkat and some of the conversations with that weird horse guy even popped into your mind. Your room, your turntables back at home... Your crows, hell, even Dirk, someone you’d only seen in dream bubbles.

And it hurt. It hurt so bad. You felt your eyes burning as you remembered how easy things were back at home despite some... difficulties, and you wanted to go back, you never wanted to play this stupid fucking game. Sure, you’d met John and Karkat and the Mayor, but was that really worth it? You'd _destroyed_ Earth by playing this damned game, and hell if you weren't wishing you'd just have died like the other 7 billion people.

You were miserable.

You sniffled, which was fucking pathetic but your nose was running and tears were pouring down your cheeks. Fuck, fuck, _fuck!_

You had thought this game was fun, at first. You’d even asked Bro if he wanted to play it because it seemed interesting, and the guy rarely went out of the house anyway. You had to repay him for training you, anyway, right? But then you remember seeing his corpse, and you heaved a breath. 

You sucked in another breath before rolling over, putting your shades somewhere on the bed and muffling the sobs you let out with a pillow.

John was the next thing that popped into your mind. You hadn’t seen him but once, and fuck, you _missed_ him, you really did. You’d even had a crush on him at one point (though that'd passed real quick). Talking to him through a screen was pain and, and.. fuck. Fuck! You shouldn’t be crying over this, you were a _Strider_! But you couldn’t help it. Your chest ached, and you wanted someone to comfort you but at the same time you didn’t want anyone to see you this way.

As if Skaia had heard your thoughts, someone knocked on your door. “What?” you’d yelled, voice cracking slightly.

“Let me in,” the intruder demanded. It was Karkat. What a surprise.

You thought about this, sniffling a bit and trying to calm your breathing. You really didn’t want him to see you like this, but you’d feel bad just telling him to go away. Reluctantly, you slid off your bed and stumbled to the door, rubbing away tears from your eyes and unlocking your door.

Karkat was looking to the side, a scowl on his face when you opened the door. He turned, mouth open to say something before he saw your face. His expression softened quickly before morphing into pity. “Is.. I can leave, if you-” he began quietly.

“No!” You almost shouted, before clearing your throat. “Um, I mean.. If you wanna go,” you trailed off awkwardly, wiping another tear from your face.

Karkat’s face shifted into a frown and he pushed his way into your room, shutting the door for you. “Do you wanna talk about it or something?” he sighed, though you could hear the undertone of concern in his voice.

“..No,” you mumbled, sitting on your bed for a minute while looking at the ceiling. You’re kind of surprised he wasn’t saying anything about the color of your eyes, though he was probably more concerned about what had made you, Dave _fucking_ Strider, cry.

After a few moments, you glanced to the side. “Actually, maybe I will.” Karkat sat on the bed then, giving you an intrigued and careful look. You would have snorted if it were not for the tears threatening to flow, because he looked like a therapist to some extent.

“I wish I had never played SBURB. I- I mean, I met you guys, and that was great, and it still is, but..” You threw your hands up. “It’s boring here. And Bro is dead, and I have to wait like 2 y- years until I can see John again, and I’m tired of dying, I’m so tired of _trying_ and I just want to give up already and get a break, and-” you hiccupped, taking a shuddering breath before shoving your face in your hands and letting out a choked sob. “I haven’t even fucking h- had human contact with someone aside from- from Rose, and we’re related through ectobiology for some fucking reason,” you took a deep breath, staring at your hands.

Fabric shuffled for a bit before stopping. “Er, do you..” Karkat trailed off. You sensed the unspoken question- do you need a hug?- before he could finish and you grabbed his sweater to pull him closer to you. You buried your head in his shirt, having to lean over to him and him being taller anyway, sliding your arms around his back. You took a moment to calm down and every now and then Karkat would run his hands along your back comfortingly. You sniffled for the umpteenth time and clenched your hands in the fabric of his shirt.

“I’m sorry,” you croaked, hiccupping into his chest again.

“It’s okay,” he murmured. You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to prevent tears from soaking Karkat’s shirt, but to no avail.

Eventually, you separated, blinking slightly because your vision was distorted and your eyes burned. You didn’t say anything, and cast your eyes down for a minute. Karkat didn’t do much, only stared at you quietly.

“Um,” you began, uncertain. The image of Karkat teaching you about moirallegiance popped in your head but you shook it off- this was _not_ moirallegiance! You didn’t even like Karkat that way, nor did you have a pile (though that did sound nice, to have a pile)- and continued. “Do you have anything to get off your chest?” you asked, eyes drifting to Karkat’s face. You weren’t okay by any means, or better at all, but any distraction was welcome at this point. As you expected, a blush lingered on his face- he was probably thinking you have a pale crush on him or something.

“Er, no, not really,” he fidgeted.

“Why’d you come in here?” you asked, careful not to sound angry or offending, but rather emotionless, as usual.

Karkat looked at his hands, which were toying with the bottom of his shirt. You noticed a big, wet stain in the center of the Cancer symbol on his shirt and felt guilt crawl up you as another unwelcome tear dribbled past your jaw. “I was bored,” he shrugged. “Also, I found a movie I thought you might want to watch with the Mayor and I.”

You mulled over this for a moment. A movie sounds nice, you thought. Maybe you’d get your mind off this. “Fort?”

Karkat nodded, visibly relaxing as if he expected you to reject the offer. “Also, I got a ton of snacks and shit, but they’re mostly green because the Mayor likes to eat green shit for some reason.”

Snickering, you wiped your eyes and grabbed your shades. You looked at yourself in your mirror and straightened your hair out while rubbing tear tracks away from your cheeks. Smirking to test out how you looked, you sighed through your nose, content with your look.

“Okay, let’s go see this movie,” you announced, trying to mimic a reality TV star or something. It failed, seeing as your voice was ragged and.. broken.

Karkat snorted, standing from the bed and leading you out of your room. You shut the door, wiping your slightly wet hands on your pants and hoping your face wasn’t red as you followed Karkat.

It would be fine. You’d see John again. You’d... Uh, Bro... Fuck. Stop thinking about him.

Okay. You’re okay.

You’re fine.

* * *

It was about halfway through the movie when you started trembling again. Your head was on Karkat’s lap, so you didn’t really want to sit up and cause him to ask you what was wrong, and then you’d just have to lie and you hated lying to Karkat, and.. fuck.

You blinked as you felt your eyes watering, feeling your throat knot up again and your chest become tight as you thought more and more about shit.

You remembered your own death, the explosion flashing in your eyes and blinding you even through your shades before pain coursed through you and you woke up as if nothing had happened.

You had watched the blood- your blood- slowly disappear from your god tier clothes in silent mortification. God, it was _everywhere,_ worse than any strife you'd fucked up in.

A bit too late, you realized tears were again running down your face, rolling onto Karkat’s pants. He hadn’t noticed yet, so you blinked them away but _fuck,_ that just made more fall from your eyes. When you took a deep breath, you felt Karkat look down at you before tensing up.

“..Dave?” he asked, voice gravelly and thick with fatigue. You cast your glance up at him briefly before curling in on yourself.

Unsure of what to do, Karkat thread his hand through your hair comfortingly, shifting himself a bit so he could. He made a few strange but comforting trills and you pulled your head into his stomach. You tried to keep quiet, because the Mayor was asleep somewhere behind you. Karkat cradled your head, creating more noises until you stopped crying, then stopped trembling.

You’d only stopped trembling, though, because you’d fallen asleep, weak from crying and utterly _exhausted_.

You had nightmares for the first time in a few weeks- memories of bright, candy red on your hands and the limp body of Bro before you. You, trying to tear the sword free from his chest and hurting yourself. Memories of pain, flashes of white and the Tumor exploding. Bodies of your friends. That one time you’d strifed with Bro and really fucked up, nearly died and paid the price for it.

You’d awoken to Karkat running his hand through your hair (again) and rubbing the small of your back, expression taut with worry.

Your shoulder flashed in phantom pain and you subconsciously reached up to brush your hand over the scar there. You remembered that night- when Bro had swung too hard and you’d been too slow. You’d learned, then. You’d learn to always be alert and that was the day you stopped smiling.

You weren’t crying, but you were shaking and glanced up at the troll before you. You pushed yourself to your knees before wrapping your hands around his shoulders, shoving your head into his collar bone. He hugged you back wordlessly, and you sniffled against him.

After an undefined amount of time, you pulled away and wiped your eyes of unshed tears before pulling your shades down and pressing your lips into a thin line. “Thanks,” you rasped, glancing away because you couldn’t meet Karkat’s gaze. You’d showed too much of yourself to him, you thought numbly as the phantom pain stung once more.

You scooted away from him and the Mayor, standing up and leaving without saying anything else. You didn’t want to avoid Karkat, you’d already done that and it hadn’t turned out well at all for either of you, but you did want to be alone for maybe a day or two. Maybe tell everyone you were gonna be gone or something over Pesterchum, and answer their questions or whatever.

No, that was probably a bad idea. You should probably just take a shower because you really needed one and you felt pretty shitty, flinching when the air vents turned on as you shut the door to the passage. You searched your sylladex for a candle and went over to the loose vent as you remembered Terezi, tossing it in.

As you were about to turn around, you narrowed your eyes, judging the size of the vent. You were pretty curious about the rooms in that vault door from the passage, and if you weren’t mistaken then this vent should lead you somewhere there without having to go through the fort. Looking around, you stepped in and lightly scooted forward, careful not to make any noise. This should not only satisfy your curiosity but also help you forget about shit, you thought numbly.

After a while, you started speeding up, avoiding any thin parts of the metal. Occasionally, the vent would creak, and you’d freeze, but otherwise you were able to crawl around safely.

A dropoff appeared sometime later and you grimaced, sliding down the shaft carefully and being sure to be quiet, even as you landed.

You looked at the intersections ahead of you; one turned right and the other forward. You ignored the passage on the right and decided to crawl forward, where you were met with a turn left.

The turn wasn’t so much an actual turn as it was a vent. It was sealed shut, though, so you continued forward until you came to the next one. This one was cracked open, so you hopped out. You recognized a few old trails of blood- this was the hallway with the lusii in it, wasn’t it?

Turning around, you blinked the sting from your eyes before clutching the door’s handle and swinging it open. It was, indeed, the room you had been looking for.

Again, you marvelled at the lusii; some were small, like this weird.. bull fairy.. thing... and some were massive, towering in the huge test tube thingys. It was pretty neat, you thought. 

Walking around, you looked at the mess of sopor from when Gamzee was with Karkat in here. A few drops of random colors of blood were on the ground- not particularly in this area, though. Dragging your gaze over, you noticed a kind of ledge. It had no railing, but was on the right side of the room on the same wall as the door. You wall jumped up, before realizing it was  _way_ too high, and instead flashstepped up. It was a bit clumsy. You’d need to start flashstepping again soon.

You walked along the ledge, gazing down at the tubes below before you halted. A puddle of dried, blue blood lay on the metal floor, trailing away. It was merged with an olive green splotch of blood, which also dragged into the same room.

You followed it.

As you continued along the trail, you grew tense. Obviously, two of the trolls had died here- probably by Gamzee- and he’d dragged them off somewhere.

You entered a larger room, which seemed to have a hallway in front of you that turned left after some length, and one to your left that seemed to turn right after a bit. Along the walls were strange paintings in the blood of trolls you don’t remember ever meeting. One that seemed to be continually showing up had huge horns protruding from the sides of his head, painted with a murky brown.

Another had been painted in the same olive that lead you here. It had cat-ear-shaped horns and wore a blue... cat cape? Strange.

You pondered which hall to go down before internally shrugging and sauntering (quietly) down the left hall, eyes darting this way and that and muscles tensing when you stepped too hard on the metal.

When you turned, you froze. Tubes, all the same size, appeared in a row down this hallway. Each and every one of them held a body without slime around it, but all without a head. You grimaced, stomach churning as you danced around the hallway. Orange, yellow, dark blue, olive, violet, and fuchsia were the blood colors you saw out of all of them.

The orange one seemed to be opened and closed a few times; the latch wasn’t even locked on it. You didn’t really want to know why.

You felt bile rise in your throat so you turned around, flashstepping down the hall and turning into a random room.

You regret this even _more_ because as you step into the room, careful not to make the tiniest noise, you see a circle of chairs. In the center is a tall figure with large horns- you quickly recognize it as Gamzee. On all of the chairs is a _head,_ a real, severed head with an expression frozen in horror. Or would be, but they all just seem kind of neutral. But fuck, if your stomach was uneasy before...

You flashstep the fuck outta there before Gamzee notices you, racing through the hallway and pushing the vault door open with adrenaline pumping through your veins. You slam it shut behind you, going lax quickly and letting yourself breath for a moment.

After exactly two minutes and forty-six seconds of you sitting on the ground, your phone dings. Pesterchum.

 

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] \--  
EB: daaaaaaaave!  
EB: you still haven’t said anything and it’s been like two years!  
EB: okay, maybe not two years but you get it.  
TG: its chill dude  
TG: i mean i am  
TG: have been for a while now  
TG: so yeah  
EB: oh, that’s good.  
EB: soooooooo...  
EB: tell me what’s been going on!  
EB: on the ship, i mean. you haven’t said anything to me about it and it’s been like, what, 5 months?  
EB: oops, i mean meteor.  
TG: yeah  
TG: nothing really  
TG: i mean  
TG: after the first three months i found this weird secret passage and i told karkat about it  
TG: and the mayor  
TG: dont tell anyone about it though it would ruin the fun  
TG: but we built a blanket fort in it and shit  
TG: shits mad kinds of cool  
TG: also asked the mayor to be my qpp after i stopped being such a pussy  
EB: how’d that go?  
TG: i was planning on telling you  
EB: i know, i just didn’t want you to go on another one of your stupid metaphor things.  
TG: what do you have against my metaphors john  
TG: is there something wrong with them  
EB: no? i mean you just get really off topic when you use them.  
EB: like right now, actually. but you’re not using a metaphor right now.  
EB: so i ask again: how’d that go?  
TG: he said yes and now were cuddle bros  
TG: i also got high and shit  
TG: and then locked myself in my room for reasons that will go unsaid  
TG: also the murderclown is not being a murderclown because karkat did some intense shoosh papping and basically forced him to eat this weird  
TG: uh  
TG: stuff  
EB: oh, wow.  
EB: well then.  
TG: yeah.  
EB: anything else???  
TG: what  
TG: thats all man  
EB: are you sure?  
TG: yes??  
EB: hm..  
EB: okay then.  
EB: well, im gonna go. i think davesprite is calling me for something.  
EB: seeya!  
\-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] \--  
TG: fuckin birds

 

You stood up, pocketing your phone and sighing through your nose. You’re not even able to take three steps into the blanket fort when your phone dings again, prompting you to groan internally and pull it back out. Upon seeing who is messaging you, you tense, staring at the letters on the screen as if they were alien (which, you guess they technically are), before replying.

 

\-- terminallyCapricous [TC] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] \--  
TC: hey brother.  
TC: WOULD YOU ALL UP AND MOTHER FUCKING KNOW.  
TC: where karbro might be?  
TG: youre not supposed to type like that  
TC: WHO’S TO MOTHERFUCKING SAY HOW I ALL UP AND TYPE?  
TG: you only type like this when youre sober  
TC: guess you figured it out then.  
TG: what  
TC: THAT IM NOT ALL UP AND ALWAYS EATIN THAT MOTHER FUCKING SOPOR.  
TC: like karbro told me to motherfuckin do.  
TC: IT ROTS YOUR PAN.  
TC: so i stopped.  
TC: NOTHIN WRONG WITH ME NOW THOUGH.

You don’t really trust him, you think, but whatever. He wouldn’t hurt Karkat; he’s been sober for a while now, you can tell, but they’re moirails.

Either way, you don’t know where he is.

TG: yeah  
TG: ill ask karkat where he is for you or whatever  
TG: whatever it takes to get you to shut up  
TC: :o)

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] \--  
TG: where are you  
CG: WHY DO YOU WANT TO FUCKING KNOW?  
TG: murderclown asked  
CG: WILL YOU STOP CALLING HIM THAT, HE DOESN’T *MURDER* ANYONE ANYMORE BECAUSE HE’S *HIGH*.  
TG: about that  
TG: he kind of stopped eating that and i quote MOTHER FUCKING SOPOR end quote  
CG: FUCK, REALLY?  
TG: yeah  
CG: SHIT.  
TG: anyway where are you  
CG: COMMON ROOM.  
TG: kay  
\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG] \--

TG: hes in the common room  
TC: THANKS, ‘LIL MOTHERFUCKER  
TC: honk :o)  
TG: yeah  
TG: im gonna go now  
\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering terminallyCapricous [TC] \--

 

You sighed. Against your better judgement, you trudged up the stairs and left the fort behind. The Mayor wasn’t in Can Town, so you transportalized into the common room instead. Karkat perked up from the book he was reading, confusion etched into his features as you stepped off the transportalizer.

“I thought you said Gamzee wanted me,” he said. It was more of a question.

You shrugged. “I don’t know where the Mayor is.”

Karkat hummed, going back to his novel as you looked around. Terezi was sitting in one of the four chairs by the candle-lit table, adjacent from where Karkat was. You plopped down by her.

“Why hello there,” she snickered, sniffing your red god tier clothing.

“‘Sup,” you replied. “What are you doing?” you asked, looking at the stuffed dragon she was holding.

“Sewing Senator Lemonsnout back up,” she replied, pulling a needle through the fabric. You decide not to ask how she does it blindly.

“Can’t you just alchemize another one? Or get Rose or Kanaya to sew it,” you queri, watching her smooth movements in vague interest.

Terezi pauses, working on the dino for a minute before replying. “If I alchemize another, he’ll just be broken again. Also, Vriska wanted me to try this out, so-” she cuts herself off and looks toward the transportalizer.

After approximately .56 seconds, a flash of white appears and Gamzee struts over to Karkat. Gamzee has fresh face paint on, you notice (was he hiding something?). Karkat is marking his place in his novel, brow furrowed in annoyance. “What?” Karkat shouts to the juggalo.

Gamzee looks to the side, directing his attention to you. “‘Thought you all up and said you didn’t know where Karbro was,” he states, not exactly threatening.

“I didn’t. Just came here looking for the Mayor.” Gamzee nods in acknowledgment.

He raises a hand and sifts it through his hair before sitting on the couch by Karkat. “I was wonderin’ if we could have a feelings jam, sib,” Gamzee chortles quietly albeit nervously.

“You could have messaged me on Trollian about this,” Karkat grumbles, captchaloguing his book and walking to the transportalizer as if expecting the juggalo to follow.

“You blocked me a while back, brotha’,” Gamzee replies, following after Karkat as he disappears in a flash of light.

When they’re gone, Terezi sniffs the air for a moment before going back to her work. You again watch her, relaxing against the chair you’re in before pulling out some Doritos and munching on them.

You spend a while like this before you get bored, so you sit up and transportalize to the kitchen (which you could have easily walked to from the common room but you didn’t really feel like it) to grab some water. AJ has been leaving you a bit... bitter, lately. You guess that’s one way to put it.

You walk back to your block, throwing some stuff away (including the aftermath of your weed shit) along the way. When you enter your respiteblock, it’s the same as always. Not that you expected anything different.

Sighing softly as you push the events of today from your mind, you start recording the lyrics to that song you made with the Mayor at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've got the next chapter already written but im gonna upload that some day in the week to keep a schedule i guess  
> i mean obv i dont have a schedule bc too much stress but yeah  
> you guys can ALSO suggest some stuff in the comments
> 
> //edit  
> i fucking. was rereading homestuck and realized some shit. with plot. that i fucked up. so you know. i have to rewrite the next episode and shit. sorry


	10. Chapter 10

A few months pass. Your birthday is tomorrow, which is kind of weird to think about, but whatever.

You’ve been hanging out with Karkat less and less. You’re not really sure why, but Karkat has been basically avoiding you and choosing to stay with Gamzee more. You don’t confront him about it, as much as it hurts your heart. You do talk with him while working on Can Town, but even then not much is said. The Mayor tries to comfort you, but... It doesn’t really work, most of the time.

Gamzee hasn’t really done anything bad. Sometimes he scares people on purpose and now he wears this weird-ass fake god tier costume, but otherwise, he doesn’t hurt anyone. You thank Karkat for that. He also started black flirting with Terezi again, but she doesn’t seem interested.

Now you find yourself in Terezi’s respiteblock, posing because she wanted to draw you. You don’t ask her how she does it, but you guess she just sniffs the air in hopes of drawing your scent correctly?

She groans. “Ugh, I ate all the red crayons. Dave, why do you have to smell so delicious?” she whines, scavenging her box of crayons.

You smirk. “‘Dunno, dude. I was just born this perfect I guess,” you say, watching her search through colored pencils, chalk, and paint for something red. She eventually finds some oil pastels and uses those, licking her fingers sometimes.

After about 5 more minutes of this, you huff. “How long do I have to pose here?” She giggles in reply.

“Oh, I’ve been done for a while now. I just wanted to see how long you’d stand there,” she confesses smugly. You moan.

“One point for Pyrope. I’m a moron,” you sigh, plopping into her orange bean bag next to her. “Dude, sweet,” your eyes widen. Her drawing is actually better than you expected. You could draw better, of course, but you’re still in awe.

“Thanks,” she grins, licking the fabric over your shoulder.

“Aw, seriously, dude? These things just dried off for me,” you complain. It was weird- your pajamas; they automatically freshened up every few hours because they were god tier.

She sniggers again, and you have to force down a smile. “All the more reason to taste you, wouldn’t you agree?” she slides her tongue on your shoulder again, similar to a dog.

“Ew,” you snort, cracking a smile at last as rub your shoulder on her face.

You sit there with her for a minute before Vriska bursts in. “Hey, fucker, Rose needs you,” she announces, pointing a claw at you.

You get up, stretching. “‘Kay,” you puff, strolling out before turning around. “Where is she?”

“Mechanics room,” she replies before slamming the door in your face. You sigh, picking at your shoulder where Terezi had licked before transportalizing to the mechanics room.

“..unsure what to make,” you hear Kanaya humming as you saunter in.

You pose dramatically, flipping your hair and staring at Rose and Kanaya with a smirk. “The party has arrived,” you announce.

Rose snickers. “Why, if it isn’t the wondrous Dave Strider. I’m glad you could make it.”

“Eh,” you shrug, “nothing else to do. So, why am I needed here?”

Rose taps her chin, looking through her sylladex for a moment. “I was wondering what you wanted to do for your birthday, which is tomorrow if you have forgotten.”

You pucker your lips. “I totally did not forget. Definitely. But I really don’t care. I never really celebrated, so it’s whatever.”

Rose grimaces. “That is unacceptable, but I suppose it does give me an idea. Thank you for your input,” she says thoughtfully. You’re about to leave when she speaks up again. “Ah, wait a moment, please.”

She glances over to Kanaya, raising her eyebrows. “What is going on between Karkat and you? I thought you two were, and I quote, ‘the best of bros’?” Rose asks.

You fidget nervously, eyebrows pulled together in frustration as you scuff your shoe on the floor. You finally resolve to throw your hands in the air. “I don’t know!” you exclaim, exasperated. “He just stopped talking to me and I don’t know why,” you run your hand through your hair, messing it up.

Kanaya hums. “I can talk with him about it if that helps?” she offers.

You shake your head. “It’s fine.” You turn around and head to your respiteblock. As much as you want to hang out with Terezi (or Karkat, something whispers), you’d rather not walk in on Terezi and Vriska having a pale make out or something, even though Mr. Crabbyfucks told you that’s not how it works.

Your heart gives a pained throb, not for the first time today, or this week, or this month.

You miss him.

* * *

When you wake up, you feel like you’re missing something.

Everything was the same, though- your room was untouched, your phone was fine, everything was... normal.

When you entered the common room after you’d had a shower and put on a white, plain shirt and some dark gray pants, it was empty. You were confused but decided not to question it. Maybe everyone was tired or something. You didn’t really care, either way, to be honest.

You grab some coffee from the weird machine and sit down on the red couch, glancing around. It was eerily quiet, and you managed to flinch when you got a message on Pesterchum.

 

\-- arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] \--  
AG: Remem8er that room you and Karkat played wriggler games in a while 8ack?  
AG: We need you there.  
AG: :::;)  
\-- arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] \--

 

You frowned. Okay? Rolling your eyes behind your shades, you shuffled to the transportalizer, wondering what was going on. Surely you’d know if today was important or something, right? Whatever.

You made your way to the room, stopping to glare at the penis-shaped hopscotch that you’d drawn. It was blurred out, and you’re at _least_ 3% sure Terezi licked it. You shuddered at the thought.

You walked into the room, stretching before looking to the side. Your jaw dropped.

A huge banner, decorated in many colors and typing quirks, was hung along the ceiling. ‘Happy Birthday, Dave!’ Before you could glance around further, though, people popped out from behind various objects and you heard a few noises- party poppers, kazoos (what the fuck), and Gamzee’s bike horn- before a loud, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVE!” rung out.

You flinched, before regaining your posture. All of your friends, including Gamzee and the Mayor’s firefly (Serenity, right?), were lined up in various bright clothing and party hats.

Everyone went silent as you stared, mouth in an ‘o’ shape before you snickered, then quietly laughed, before full-out guffawing at the scene. This was hilarious and absolutely perfect. You think some of the others were laughing too, but it was hard to tell.

“Oh man, this is beautiful. Holy shit,” you wiped a tear from your eye. “You guys are, like, the best. Right now.”

“Well, what do you think?” Rose asked, her voice tinted with smug pride.

“I didn’t expect,” you threw your hands up, “anything. Like, maybe a gift, but damn. Cake? Is that apple flavored cake? Dude,” you gaped.

“Yes, it is. And pie, as well other various foods you may enjoy.”

You were still gawking. “Jegus, this is. I have no words,” you breathed. You ran a hand through your hair. It looked like they had spent so much time on this, there were tables and chairs and various decorations scribbled onto the wall (though some were blurred, probably by Terezi).

“Lame,” Vriska complained. “You haven’t seen nothin’ yet. Wait ‘till you see the gifts,” she narrowed her eyes, grinning.

“Oh, shit. Where?” you glanced around before seeing a table of gifts and jogging toward it. Everyone followed you, talking quietly or excitedly. “Okay kids, don’t bury me in this shit,” you murmured, staring at the heap of presents.

Someone tugged on your sleeve, and you glanced down at the Mayor. **‘Open mine first!’** he pleaded, eyes creasing slightly. You smiled.

“Can’t argue with that, m’dude.” You grabbed his box, wrapped in red wrapping paper (like every other one aside from... what, four of them?), and sat down, facing away from the table and toward everyone else. You tore into the wrapping, opening up a loosely closed cardboard box before holding out some headphones. “Aw, shit dude!” You turned them over in your hand a few times.

You’d been looking for the code to alchemize these for forever, but you guess the Mayor had beaten you to it. They were a cherry red with swirling black and white designs on it, the earmuffs padded and all. They were wireless and had a few buttons on them to adjust audio, the song, etc. You wrapped WV in a hug, a small smile on your face. Terezi handed you your next gift.

Again, it was in red wrapping, but it was kind of sticky. Figures. You tore it open, revealing a plethora of scratch and sniff stickers. To your surprise, they were all dry. You grinned, motioning Terezi forward as you peeled a sticker off.

“What?” she asked, but you stuck a sticker on her forehead as she leaned in. She snickered, peeling it off and putting it on her tongue.

Next, you grabbed Roses’ gift. You peeled all the (purple!) wrapping off, pulling the box apart before your eyes lit up. It was a new sketchbook (slightly bigger than the ones you usually had), complete with all kinds of pencils and Copic markers. “Shit, dawg, thanks,” you captchalogued it, grabbing a new present from behind you as a few of the people in front of you chatted quietly.

This one was from Kanaya, and from how it was a bag you already knew what it was. You pulled the weird fabric stuff out before grabbing the outfit, standing up to examine it. It was a red shirt with a picture of Sweet Bro stitched onto it, purposely crappy. You guess Rose helped with that, but you said your thanks and put the shirt on nonetheless. It was surprisingly comfortable.

You looked around the table, tongue sticking out slightly again as you noticed a huge box. It was blue, and you already knew it was from Vriska. You could have carried it if you wanted, but you tore the wrapping off anyway.

It was a new set of turntables, exactly the same as your other one except it was red with the same kind of design on it as the headphones. You clicked it on, noticing it didn’t need a wire, and saw all of your music already saved onto it. “Hopy shit, this is amazing, Vriska.” You were surprised she actually had gotten this for you, but it was probably so she could just be ‘the 8est!!!!!!!!’.

You captchalogued it and looked back over the table again. You noticed two black presents, both labeled ‘Karkat’, but decided to save those for last. You grabbed a very small box and quirked a brow, looking at the name. No way. Serenity, the tiny firefly?

You glanced at the Mayor and he blinked, probably confused. You opened the box and grabbed a small, pure red stick out of it.

Beautiful. “Damn. This is a true work of art.” You held your fist out, and the little firefly buzzed over to you and landed on your fist briefly before returning to WV. What a strange fistbump.

You put that away before grabbing Gamzee’s gift. You weren’t really sure what to expect, but it certainly wasn’t this. A bunch of empty mason jars with lids of various sizes. “Dude, thanks. How’d you know?” you asked. Only Rose and Karkat knew about you collecting dead shit. The juggalo pointed to Rose, a dopey smile on his face.

Last, but not least, was Karkat’s. He was the only one who got two presents for you, which was kind of weird but you weren’t complaining. You opened up the first one- a small box- and started laughing. It was an ugly yellow blanket with red dicks drawn all over it. “This,” you chuckled, “is _the_ best thing I’ve gotten so far,” you said with genuine happiness. Karkat tried to frown but ended up smiling. He looked stupid with that hat on, and you made sure to tell him that later.

[You draped the penis blanket over your shoulders](https://o0jaywolf0o.tumblr.com/post/164371470798/oh-shit-its-a-fanfi-ction-spoiler-nobody-here) before grabbing the last present, tearing it open. It was a high-quality camera (you really didn’t want to think about how long he must have worked to find the code for this) and a few different bokeh lenses, as well as an envelope. _‘READ THIS LATER’_ was scribbled on the front in dark gray.

“Damn, Karkles,” you smiled, inspecting your new camera. “This is some next-gen shit right here.”

After a while, everyone started eating cake and other junk food on the table. It was pretty good, and you’d bet that it was made in the kitchen rather than alchemized. When everyone was done eating, they spread out, simply talking to each other. You had no one to talk to, so you let Jade wish you happy birthday (John wouldn’t respond, apparently he was hanging with Davesprite on LOWAS).

Eventually, you pull out Karkat’s letter because nobody was talking to you anyway.

 _‘DAVE FUCKING STRIDER,_  
_I FUCKED UP. AND I’M SORRY._  
_I REALLY SHOULDN’T HAVE STARTED IGNORING YOU. AND I KNOW THAT KIND OF FUCKED YOU UP, EVEN THOUGH YOU’RE GOING TO SAY YOU WERE FINE AND SHIT. I’M NOT BLIND AND EVERYONE ELSE ISN’T EITHER, BECAUSE TRUST ME THEY WERE ASKING ME ABOUT THE DAMN THING THE ENTIRE TIME._

_BEST BROS?’_

Saying you were confused would be an understatement. He hadn’t explained why he started ignoring you, but you guess he didn’t want to? Whatever. You’d find out eventually.

You stood up, looking around while captchaloguing the note. You found Karkat, sitting with Gamzee and the Mayor, as well as Serenity. You started jogging toward him. He glanced up at you for a second before looking back to the group, then looking back at you in disbelief. You sat down beside him wordlessly and held out your hand in a fist bump.

“Best bros?” you asked.

Karkat hesitated, before a smile found its way on his face. He fist bumped you, “Best bros.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long i had to rewrite most of it bc of some shit :(  
> [heres dave with the blanket on in case it didnt load for you](https://o0jaywolf0o.tumblr.com/post/164371470798/oh-shit-its-a-fanfi-ction-spoiler-nobody-here)


	11. Chapter 11

Yesterday was your birthday, you remember, as you blink your eyes open to darkness. You’re in the fort with WV and Karkat, exhausted after a long movie marathon. You’d passed out the floor and you guess Karkat carried you to the makeshift bed because you could feel a pillow underneath you. Your back pressed against Karkat’s leg and your face was buried in WV’s stomach, who was lightly snoring. Cute.

You rolled over, eliciting a grunt from the troll behind you, and pushed yourself into a standing position. You scratched your arm for a moment before fixing your shades, popping your knuckles and stretching before stumbling out of the fort.

You floated your way up the stairs, opening and shutting the large door to the passage and tossing some perfume in the vents before you transportalized to the common room. Vriska was already there, hunched over the table and staring at Terezi, who seemed miserable or something. They glanced up at you.

“Yo,” you greeted, drifting over to the coffee machine and tapping it a few times. Two steaming cups of shitty coffee were revealed after a moment and you shrugged inwardly, taking both of the cups for yourself and lounging on the couch. You sip at one of the mugs while keeping the other on your knee, careful to make sure it doesn’t tip over. Terezi and Vriska continue their quiet conversation, and you pull out your phone to text John because you’re bored.

 

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] \--  
TG: hey  
TG: hey  
TG: john  
TG: john hey  
TG: hey john  
TG: john  
TG: dude where the fuck are you  
TG: im gonna get jade  
TG: ill do it dude  
TG: ...  
\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] \--

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] \--  
TG: hey jade  
GG: hey dave :(  
TG: whats up  
TG: wait first  
TG: wheres john  
TG: he wont answer me  
TG: jade  
TG: jade where are you  
GG: oh god dave its terrible!!  
TG: what  
GG: hes gone!!  
TG: wait what  
TG: what do you mean  
GG: he died on lowas trying to defeat typheus with davesprite :(  
TG: what  
TG: he came *BACK* though right  
GG: well..  
TG: so hes fine  
GG: dave..  
GG: he  
GG: it was heroic  
GG: :(  
TG: so you  
TG: you mean to tell me  
TG: tthat hes  
GG: dave?  
GG: dave??  
\-- turntechGodhead [TG] is now an idle chum! --

* * *

It had been a while since you’d left your room. It was ironic; you had no idea how long you’d been staring at the wall, though your title was the Knight of Time. You had refused to cry, refused to think about it. He couldn’t be dead. No, he wasn’t.

You’d pestered him multiple times. Every time you did, you told yourself he was busy baking cakes with Nanna. He was having fun with Davesprite. He was watching his awful Nic Cage movies. He was having fun and living life to its fullest. He was. He _was_.

You looked over the dumb selfies he’d sent you. Read conversations you'd had in the past. At one point, you’d started making him a song, but you weren’t able to complete it because of the twisted feeling in your chest.

You didn’t flinch at the sound of knocking at your door. No, you tensed, only flicking your eyes there when the door creaked open. Rose stepped inside, worry present on her face as she quietly shut the door behind her. She maneuvered her way over the useless shit and wires littering your floor before sitting next to you on your bed, folding her hands in her lap.

“These last two weeks have not been a good idea, Dave,” she spoke quietly. Two _weeks_?! You know you’d been mourning- no, reminiscing, he was fine- but hot damn. “I do hope you know this?” It was more of a question.

You nodded, face blank, in reply.

Rose sighed. “I do not want a repeat of last time. Please tell me you’ve at least been eating?” She glanced around the floor, examining the various empty chip bags.

“Yeah.” You had barely eaten, so it technically wasn’t a lie. You’d had two bags of Doritos and 1 full bottle of AJ but otherwise starved yourself numb. You were used to it, though. You were always starved back at home.

“How much?” You tensed. Fuck. She placed her hand on your knee delicately, as if one slight wrong movement would shatter you. “Please, eat this, if anything,” she murmured. Her sylladex appeared for a moment and she plucked one of the green leaves from her modus before it disappeared. She handed you a pair of sandwiches, both of which seemed freshly made. You grabbed one after a moment and took a slow bite. It was only after you’d swallowed the delicious treat that you realized how fucking hungry you were and started devouring them both.

When you wiped your mouth with a napkin she’d brought, she handed you a cold bottle of water. You drank all of it briskly before handing her the bottle, which she merged with the crumpled napkin before captchaloguing.

“Where are your clothes?” she asked, sitting up and walking to a dresser before pulling one of the drawers open. She shut it afterward, as it only contained loose leaf paper drawings and a few old sketchbooks. You silently pointed to the small dresser in the corner of the room and she strode over there, opening a few drawers and grabbing some clothes out. She walked back toward you and handed you the bundle, also grabbing a towel from her sylladex (she really did come prepared, huh). “It would be appreciated if you took a shower while I tidy your room up,” she said with low volume, glancing around. “That is okay with you, yes?”

“Yeah, just... don’t go through my notebooks and you’re fine,” you mumbled. You trudged out of the room and to an ablutionblock, setting your clothes on the toilet before you shut and locked the door. You turned the shower water to as hot as it could go before peeling your clothes off and tossing them on the floor. You slid your shades and set them on the sink before stepping over the tub and into the shower.

Hot water pelted you, dampening your hair rapidly and burning your skin. You flinched at the heat a few times before your body finally adjusted. As you grabbed the 2&1, you thought about... Well, you’re not really sure.

Your thoughts were a mix. A combination of memories in the house, snooping around or testing the floorboards. Grabbing a smuppet from under your pillow. Typing away rapidly to your friends. Others were of you at school, doodling idly on paper. Fighting with someone who pissed you off. Skipping class and lounging in the library for hours. You remembered meeting Jade, and then eventually having her introduce you to John. Finding out Rose was your sister. Skype calls late at night, where you had your camera on but claimed your mic was broken so you wouldn’t have Bro find out what you were doing.

They were mostly pleasant, you thought, as you scrubbed yourself down with body wash and watched soap spiral down the bathtub’s drain. It helped keep you occupied. You remember playing the game, meeting Tavros and holding rap battles against him occasionally. You remember Bro dying. You saw yourself die, or other ‘yous’ die. Then, you remembered John. Thought about him. Pictured his buck-toothed smile and his black, fluffy hair.

You shut the water off, heaving a sigh and stepping out of the shower. Steam rose off your back and water droplets fell to the floor as you made yourself over to the commode, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around your waist. You quickly dried yourself off, pulled your dry clothes on, and slid your shades back on before exiting the bathroom, damp towel and old clothes in your sylladex. You passed WV’s firefly on the way to your room and saw her zoom off in the direction of Can Town, presumably alerting the Mayor of your presence.

When you entered your room, you handed Rose the damp towel and clothes as you looked around. The floor was clean, and your clothes were gone (aside from your god tier clothes, which were hanging on the back of your door for whenever you wanted them on). Your desk was clear of trash, too, and all the dishes you had piled up were gone as well.

You shuffled your socks across the floor before letting yourself fall onto the bed beside your ecto-sister. She blinked, analyzing you for a moment before folding her hands into her lap again and shifting her body so it faced you. “Dave, I think it’s time we talk about Karkat.”

You sighed internally. You really, really didn’t want to- wait, what?

“Did I hear you right?” you asked, keeping your face clear of surprise as good as you could. “I thought we were going to talk about John.”

Rose hummed, inspecting a spot on your wall for a moment before turning back to you. “I initially planned to speak to you about him, but what is there to say? He’s gone, and it was no one’s fault, certainly not yours. I _do_ know that you have been having a hard time working out your feelings with Karkat,” she reasoned.

You dwelled on this thought for a bit. You didn’t blame yourself for John’s death, that was for sure. You had at first but then realized that there really wasn’t a way it could have been your fault. Karkat _had_ been troubling you, though, a lot lately. “I guess you’re right.”

Your sister’s phone buzzed, and she took it out, sliding the screen and letting her eyes flicker across it for a moment. Her black nails tapped at the screen rapidly before she hit send and shut the screen off, facing you once more. “My apologies, that was Kanaya. So, Dave, how would you describe Karkat?” she began, staring intently at you for a moment before opening her mouth. “Before you answer that, I need to ask- may I take your shades off?”

You nodded, and she carefully grasped the arms and pulled them off. You blinked for a moment, letting your eyes adjust to the slightly brighter darkness. “Karkat. He’s..” you trailed off. How _would_ you describe him? Great. Wonderful. He looks cute when he gets mad, with his legs slightly parted and his face flushed a light red as he squatted. When he rambled about quadrants or the romance novels he had read, his eyes would always sparkle and his movements became animated. But you didn’t need to tell Rose about that.

Rose smirked. “Dave, dear, you should really work on keeping your thoughts _here_ ,” she pointed to her forehead, “instead of here,” she rested her fingers on her bottom lip. Fuck, had you said that out loud? The mischievous glint in her purple eyes told you everything you needed to know.

“Do you have any.. feelings, toward him?” She asked, deciding to be blunt.

You sat on this for a bit, being very careful about not saying what you thought of. Well, you sure did know you felt _something_ toward him. More than just friendship, that was for sure. You had known about your flushed feelings, but denied it ever since you got high. You didn’t want to be gay. You didn’t want to because you had been taught all your life that gays go to hell and gays deserve to burn and gays should die. Bro had enforced this. He had caught you scrolling through google stock images, and lingering on a photo of a guy for too long. That night, you’d had to patch yourself up more than usual.

“I guess,” you shrugged. “I just.. Fuck,” you sighed. “What if he doesn’t like me back, Rose? What am I gonna do?” You were thankful that you weren’t talking or thinking about John right about now. One point for Lalonde.

A smile spread across Rose’s face. “Dave, sometimes I really do mistake you for an idiot,” she chortled. “Karkat never stops talking about you. In fact, when he refused to talk to you before your birthday, he thought you hated him because you were no longer relaxed around him.” Damn, really? You’d thought _he_ hated _you_.

“Oh,” you mumbled, glancing away from your sister’s face for a moment. “Um, okay.”

She laughed airily again. “Why don’t you go talk to him?” she encouraged.

Talk to.. Karkat? Well, it wasn’t a bad idea. “Yeah, sure. Where is he?”

“Common room,” she replied. You stood up, stretching for a moment and sighing at the pops your back made, before making your way out of your room (only after grabbing your shades). You’re not sure what Rose was going to do, but after you heard her walk out of your room and walk past you to Kanaya’s, you could guess. You stepped on the transportalizer to the common room and closed your eyes as your vision flashed white. You opened them once more and stepped off the pad before making your way to the couch, where Karkat was nursing a cup of coffee.

He glanced up at you, expression set in a scowl, before his eyes went wide. “Dave, holy fuck!” he cried, slamming his book shut and jumping off the couch. “Do you know what you did to me?” he asked, tone full of.. anger? You’re not sure.

“Sorry,” you said, voice empty. Rose was wrong. He didn’t like you- he _couldn’t_. He was mad at you, now, for Gog’s sake!

Karkat stamped over to you, throwing his arms up, and you tensed, ready for him to hit you, or... something. What you didn’t expect was to feel his arms slither under yours and your head to dip into his neck as he crushed you in a hug. You were stiff for a few moments before you reciprocated, muscles loosening at the contact. You missed this. Maybe Rose was right. “I was so fucking worried, Dave,” he muttered.

You nuzzled into his neck. He was warm, that much you knew- his blood made his temperature high because he was the lowest type. He pulled away sooner than you liked, eyes creased in worry. He managed to make direct eye contact, even through your shades. You were spending too much time around him.

You heard the tell-tale flash of someone appearing behind you, and you barely glanced back as small, hard arms wrapped around your middle. The Mayor. You turned around to hug him properly, but he _crawled_ up you, clinging onto you like a koala. A heavy koala. Despite him being cute and adorable, WV wasn’t actually that short- in fact, he was only about 3 inches shorter than you.

You gave a tiny, lopsided smile and grabbed him to make sure he didn’t fall as his head buried into the crook of your neck. “So.. Uh, wanna go vandalize Vriska’s shit?” you asked, holding up a red and gray pen.

“Hell fucking yes!” Karkat exclaimed, snatching the pen from you.

Maybe you did have a chance with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (psst im running out of ideas pls help)  
> oh and thanks for 650 hits i know you guys cant see them but ay


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nyall

“We fucking got it!” Kanaya and Rose exclaimed in unison as they appeared into the common room. Everyone else had been lounging around- Terezi and Vriska were situated in the corner, doing something on their palmhusks, and you and Karkat had been fucking around with your turntables. The Mayor was drawing on some paper, occasionally signing to Serenity, and Gamzee was sprawled out on the couch, dazed.

“Got what?” Terezi inquired, her mouth shifting to form a question mark. No matter how often she did it, it still freaked you out.

“The recuperacoons! We got the code!” Rose cheered. Karkat shot up immediately, stumbling over to them and giving them a ‘gimmie’ gesture with his brows notched together. Kanaya snorted, glancing around for a moment.

“I do not have the key to open the card, yet,” she hums, her white, glowing skin flickering before ‘turning off’. Oh, right, you forgot, her fetch modus was fucking stupid half of the time or whatever. To be fair, though, the names you had to give shit were retarded as well.

“Ugh. What about you, Rose?” Karkat complained over a hint of excitement. Rose, with a practiced hand motion, summoned her sylladex forward and plucked a card from a leaf. She read the code on the back and showed Karkat, who lunged over the table to steal your pen before writing down the code on his arm.

“Not cool, dude. You can’t just steal a bro’s pen like that,” you glanced at him.

“My pen is literally the same shade as my skin. It wouldn’t work. Besides, I’m pretty sure you have like 30 of these in your drawer or something,” Karkat argued, flicking your pen back to the table until it rolled into your forearm.

“The recuperacoons come in this style only, so we’re going to have to live with it.” You took a moment to squint at the card Rose held. It was a dark blue, with small holes at the bottom and the ‘entrance’ protruding slightly from the top. You’re sure anyone could squeeze in, and maybe two people could fit in the ‘coon entirely.

Karkat slammed your laptop shut and pushed your turntables near you to captchalogue. You grabbed them and your computer with a confused expression. “C’mon, loser, let's get this over with,” he grumbled.

Everyone, save for the Mayor, filed onto the transportalizer and followed Rose and Kanaya (who kept whispering things back in forth to each other) to the mechanics room. They started to make a few more recuperacoons when you notice two, red circles on Rose’s neck. Your eyebrows scrunched together and you pointedly looked away- the image of Kanaya sucking the blood out of your sister was not one you wanted to entertain.

There were 3 recuperacoons in the room, all empty, when Kanaya snapped her fingers. “We need to fill them with sopor, first.” She grabbed a key and unlocked a card from her sylladex, revealing a bucket. Her face lit up green for a moment before she filled it with sopor, then dumped said slime in the recuperacoon.

You looked at Karkat after he made a weird noise, his eyes covered. His cheeks were also a bright, cherry red. What the fuck? “Dude, what’s wrong?” you asked.

Karkat turned to you, face alight and one of the most uncomfortable expressions plastered on him. “What the fuck do you mean?” he stage-whispered, gesturing to the other trolls in the room. Indeed, all of their faces were bright in their respective blood colors.

This only made you more confused. “What the hell?” you muttered.

“Vriska, please take this recuperacoon,” Kanaya announced.

“That bucket had fucking _better_ be clean, Maryam,” Vriska growled, snatching the card into her 8-ball modus.

Kanaya blushed again. “I can assure you it is.”

You were beyond confused, now. Even _Rose_ was blushing. You elbowed Karkat. “What am I missing here?”

Karkat aggressively motioned to the bucket, then to you, with wide eyes and a flushed face. “How fucking dumb are you, Strider! That’s a _pail!_ ” he whisper-shouted through clenched teeth.

“...and?” Karkat facepalmed.

“I’ll tell you later,” he grumbled, captchaloguing the next recuperacoon to be filled before grabbing your hand and dragging you off to his room. The entire way there, his blush didn’t let up, and you couldn’t stop thinking about his hand in yours. It was not soft nor smooth, but it fit nicely in yours. He released your hand to open his room door before captchaloguing his bed and putting the recuperacoon in its place. Sighing, he slumped over the hull and flopped over to stare at the ceiling while you leaned against the wall.

“What’s so bad about pails, dude?” you asked. Karkat’s head snapped toward you, expression set in an embarrassed scowl before he ran his hand over his face.

“Okay, since we obviously have different cultures and shit and I avoided this in the whole quadrant talk, I’ll let it slide, but... God, fuck, you are the death of me, Strider.” You waited, leaned against the wall, for him to continue. “Trolls... We, uh, we cum into buckets,” he confessed, voice small. You choked, before laughing.

“Holy shit, you cum into buckets? Dude, why?” you cackled.

Karkat moaned as if you were putting him through agony. “I am _not_ talking with you about this.”

“Geez, okay,” you sighed out a breath. “Hey, dude, have you seen the way Terezi’s been lookin’ at Gamzee? Isn’t it that weird ‘kissme’ quadrant, or something?” you changed the subject.

“Kismesistude. And yeah, they’re totally black for each other. It’s fucking weird, considering you and she used to be matesprits, and I had a flushed crush on her.. _And_ I was fucking pale with Gamzee for so long but he broke that off.”

You raised a brow. “He broke up with you? When?”

Karkat sat up, gnawing on a stick of the weird ravioli stuff the Mayor had once eaten. You’d learned it was called a grub roll. “Like, last week or something. I didn’t tell you?”

You shook your head, looking around. “Nah. Nobody really keeps me updated on relationships. In fact, I’m still waiting for Rose and Kanaya to get together. I mean, it’s obvious they like each other, so what the fuck? Everyone can see it anyway.” Karkat was sitting on a chair backward, listening to you as he nibbled on the grub roll.

He opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something before glancing to the side. “Yeah,” he agreed, instead.

Now bored, you rifled through your sylladex. Candles, perfume, alcohol, turntables, katana, some old trash, a pencil you’d named ‘red wooden doohickey’ to fit in the 26th card, and a sord. You scowled at the alcohol and took it out, turning it over in your hand. “I should really get rid of this,” you sighed, almost forgetting Karkat was there.

You glanced up, staring at the troll. He was glancing around his walls, reading the various posters and brushing his thick, curly hair from his eyes. Focusing your attention on said hair, you noticed various knots and strands sticking out this way and that. It was a mess, really; but it made him look cute.

You searched your sylladex once more, frowning as you scanned through your cards. “Hey, dude?” you spoke up after not finding the item you were looking for. Karkat grunted to show he was listening. “Do you have a brush?”

Karkat glared at you, searching for your eyes through your shades. “Why the fuck do you need a brush?”

You blinked once, then twice, before gesturing to his hair. “You want to brush my hair.” You nodded, prompting him to heave out a sigh. Instead of yelling at you like he usually would, he pulled his sylladex out and grabbed a card, flicking it so he got his item. He handed you a gray brush before sitting on the floor, raising his eyebrows at you. You flashed him a grin, pushing yourself off the wall. You sat behind him, awkwardly letting your legs hang out from either side of his hips.

“Dude, you need to like, lean back or something. You’re too tall,” you complained, scooting back to allow him room. He shuffled around for a bit before leaning his weight on you, which made him glare straight up at you.

“Explain to me how the ever loving fuck this position is going to work, again?” You snorted.

“Got any better ideas?”

Karkat grinned. “In fact, I do.” He batted your head out of the way before getting up and laying down, his stomach flush to the floor. “Okay, this sounds fucking retarded in every way, but you can just sit on my shoulder blades or something,” he grumbled. You snickered at his tone before crawling over to him and hesitating.

This was gonna be really gay. Fuck. It’s not like you didn’t know you were bi since your talk with Rose, but it was hard to think about because of what was drilled into your head by Bro. Instead of continuing that train of thought, you situated yourself on his back, eliciting a grunt from him. As you raised your brush, he spoke up. “Don’t fucking touch my horns, Dave, or I swear to mother grub I will burn every SBaHJ comic you’ve ever made.”

“Okay, sheesh.” And with that, you set to work. You started out by picking a big knot and working through it. Every now and then, Karkat would tense or make a small noise and you’d pause to knead his scalp, trying to soothe the pain. Once, you accidentally let your brush get a little too close to his horn and he snapped at you.

You were almost done now, lightly sifting the brush through his hair and smoothing it out with your hand. You weren’t really sure what you were doing because you’d never actually brushed your hair- only combed it- but you think you did a nice job. When you ran the brush through the sea on his head one last time, it came up with no tangles. Karkat was on his palmhusk- a troll version of phones- so you put the brush down on the floor before playing with his hair. It was smooth and fluffy, curling over your fingers as you drew shapes into his scalp.

You don’t know what provoked it, but something... happened. It was a small change, but it felt weird even though you don’t know what it was. Squinting through your shades, you listened carefully. A light vibrating noise was coming from beneath you; you could also feel it through your body. You shrugged it off before continuing massaging Karkat’s scalp, ignoring the feeling until it just became louder.

And then it hit you.

Karkat was _purring._ You didn’t even know it was a thing trolls could do, but there he was, purring, right beneath you. He seemed to have slowed the scrolling on his palmhusk, and, peeking just around his curls, you could see his eyes closed and a small smile on his lips. Rather than pointing out the fact that he was, well, _purring_ like a damn cat- and ruining the moment, probably- you continued pressing your fingers into his scalp slowly, running your hand through his hair.

Eventually, his head started to nod, and he made a small noise. It was kind of pathetic, but he seemed tired. “Hey, man, how you holdin’ up?” you asked quietly. He tensed as if remembering you were there. The purring stopped abruptly.

“I, uh... Tired,” he mumbled.

You pulled a knot from his hair you had missed, tugging briefly before dancing your fingers through his hair again. “A good time to try out that recuperacoon, huh?”

Karkat muttered something sleepily in reply, but it was drowned out by the purring that had resumed. The fact that you had done this, had made Karkat feel nice and made him fucking _purr_ , sent something warm in your tummy that made you feel jittery and soft. It didn’t seem like he was going to move by himself anytime soon, so you hauled your ass off of him. As much as the sound of protest he made in your wake made you want to die, you didn’t want him to pass out on the floor. You poked him in the rib. “Get up, dude. If you’re going to sleep I don’t think the floor is the most comfortable place to do it.”

Karkat sighed quietly before rolling over and squinting at the ceiling. “Fine. Get out,” he ordered, the rumbling of his chest ceasing after a bit. You screwed your face up in reply.

“...Why?”

He turned to look at you, eyes blinking slowly. “Why would I sleep with my clothes on in a recuperacoon?” he muttered, rolling back over to push himself off the floor.

“Oh.” You turned away and left his room, shutting the door and leaning against the wall for a moment. What, now? You could always go to Can Town and help the Mayor build up the last few buildings (you were all almost done now), but in all honesty, you wanted to thank Rose.

After deciding that you would indeed thank Rose for helping you out with Karkat, you transportalized to the common room. As expected, she was sat on the couch, smiling down at a book in Kanaya’s hands. They glanced up at you as you stepped off the pad. Kanaya waved, and Rose whispered something to the troll before standing up and sitting on one of the chairs at the table. You sat in the one across from her, making sure to sit correctly in posture just to make her laugh.

She giggled, eyes shining. After a moment, she regained composure and you went lax in your seat. “What do you need?” she asked.

“Oh, um. I was just gonna say thanks. About the Karkat thing. Even though it’s been a week since we talked and all, I..” fuck, this sounds so dumb. Are you really doing this? Why are you doing this? "I feel better...?"

“Ah, you’re welcome, dear brother,” she spoke, keeping her voice low as you did. “So, are you dating, now? It certainly sounds like so,” she asked, a sly glint in her eye.

You spluttered. “No! I mean, I want to, but.. no, we’re just- god, fuck, Rose,” you groaned, sliding your hand over your face. “Actually? No. We’re not. But I’ll be damned surprised if you’re not with Kanaya yet.” You let a smirk crawl over your lips at her blush.

“Hm. Well, we have talked about it, and I suppose the answer to the question you have not asked is yes, we are dating. But we plan to go slowly, as I have never actually been in a relationship before,” she admitted, face a light shade of pink.

“God damn, Rose. Damn. Teach me your ways,” you mumbled, half to yourself. You stood up, stretching. “Well, that’s all. Also, Kanaya, can you purr?” you asked after a moment.

She looked up, nodding. “Though I can, I prefer not to as of now. Why?”

You shrugged. “Just.. wondering.”

Kanaya seemed to see through you though and put on that same face Rose always did. “Did you happen to make a certain troll purr, Dave?” she queried.

“Nope. Definitely not. No trolls purring here,” you whistled as you waltzed over to the transportalizer. Before you were sent off, you dipped an imaginary fedora to the pair and winked. As soon as you stepped off the transportalizer, you groaned, sighing into your hands. Quickly, you pestered Karkat and told him about Rose and Kanaya. As expected, you got no reply, so you shut your phone off.

Instead of going to Can Town or back to Karkat’s room, you headed to Terezi’s respiteblock. Along the way, your thoughts were preoccupied. Everyone on the meteor was in some kind of relationship except for Karkat. Gamzee was with Terezi, who was with Vriska. The Mayor was with you in a QPR. Rose and Kanaya were matesprits now. What about Karkat?

...You wondered if you would be the one Karkat was with.

It would be nice, you thought, as you floated through the hallways of the meteor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sry for not updating more. were nearing the end or as i like to put it "i dont know where to go with this and i dont think people like it so i need to end it faster and work on other fics"  
> anyways hope this chapter is ok. i went pack and redid all the pesterlogs so they look fancy and shit and that took fucking like at least four damn hours, not counting the breaks i took. fuck man. fuck.  
> ok. see you next chapt.  
> (ps thanks for 720 hits)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for 800 hits here you go

It was eerily quiet, save for the sound of your and Karkat’s breath. Out of boredom (and fear that Vriska would kill you for drawing dicks on her door again), both of you had decided to gaze out among the veil.

The first thing you’d pointed out was the bright, inviting light of Skaia. The meteor was turned just to if you turned your head a little bit right, you could see the small blue and white planet. Just underneath it, a yellow speck orbited it. You knew this to be Prospit.

Second, you and Karkat both had noticed the lack of stars. In the incipisphere and around it, it was barren, save for the player’s planets. You couldn’t quite see these, though, because of how far away you were from the incipisphere. True, you were nowhere near it, but Skaia’s light was bright enough to see light years away. It was breathtaking, really.

A thin line of gray revealed the veil, where the meteor you were currently riding had once rested. A speck of purple announced the planet you used to wake up on as you slept- Derse.

It was spectacular, really. Wondrous. It was like you were in a video game, though you knew you were.

The last thing you noticed was the faint, multicolored bubbles around. Though some were rapidly disappearing, they dotted the skies where stars should have been. If you passed close enough by, you could see inside of them. Some were three five as big as the meteor, while some were the size of a bowl. You knew these to be dream bubbles.

You yawned, eyes darting to Karkat from under your shades. He was relaxed, eyes flickering this way and that as he stared through space. His gaze caught yours and you let a tiny smile crawl over your face, making him pointedly look away.

He was warm. You could tell, even from the distance put between yourselves. Though, to be fair, you already knew this from the first time you touched him. Because of his blood, he was  _ hot _ , and if you weren’t used to hot temperatures then touching him for too long could burn you. He told you he hated that, but you told him it was appealing.

Karkat heaved a sigh through his nose. “Dave?” You hummed. “Do you... uh...” he trailed off before abruptly sitting up. “Fuck!”

You creased your brows, sitting up and looking in his direction. You mouth formed a small ‘o’ as you glimpsed a huge dream bubble headed your way- about twice as big as the meteor, you guessed. It would be 30 seconds before it hit.

“Fuck. This means nothing,” Karkat muttered, before grabbing your hand tightly. You braced yourself, squeezing your eyes shut and screwing your face as weird warping sounds came closer. Then, it hit.

The temperature changed dramatically. Instead of a chilling cold, it became a milky warm. You say milky because the scent of milk and fur hit your nose. Opening your eyes, you blinked against the brightness (which in reality wasn’t very bright at all, you just weren’t used to anything brighter than Kanaya’s skin).

A great black and red forest surrounded you. The dirt was an unholy shade of red, sprinkled with bright red and dark green plants. This was no place on Earth, that was for sure.

Karkat’s hand loosened in yours and he brushed invisible dirt from them. “What was that for?” you asked.

“If I wasn’t touching you we would have been separated, dumbass,” he murmured, looking around. “This is Nepeta’s forest. Let’s just go get this over with,” he sighed, defeated. You trailed after him as he winded through the trees, following a path he seemed to have memorized.

“So if you’ve never met, then how do you know your way through this?” you asked.

Karkat shrugged. “Nepeta would always talk about landmarks and shit as she texted me. See that tree’s roots?” The tree had tiny roots that seemed to take the shape of a spiral. “She found mice there and killed them for her lusus.” You grimaced but shook it off.

And with that, you were silent. Sometime later, Karkat paused, before darting behind a rather large tree. You followed suit, pressing yourself against him in an effort to hide from whatever he had heard. It was no surprise that trolls could hear better than humans, so you didn’t do anything to question it.

The sound of footsteps padding down the trail had you stiffen up and still your breathing. Instead of walking past, though, the person stopped before walking around the tree. They cackled, staring at you dumbfounded. “Hey, guys,” Terezi greeted.

Before saying anything, Karkat pulled her glasses off. Her eyes were red, instead of black, causing you to deflate. ”Hey, ‘Rezi,” Karkat replied.

“Still hating dream bubbles?” she questioned. Karkat merely nodded in reply. “Cool. I know a place you can hide.” She licked the top of her cane before grinning and walking away. Karkat followed, so you did, too.

Every now and then, Terezi would stop and sniff the surroundings before making a turn or continuing forward. When you heard voices, she maneuvered around them, making sure not to steer into their path. You didn’t want to know what that guy looked like, anyway- he sounded like he was constipated the entire time he spoke (and kept using the word exquisite, too. Eugh). He was probably related to Equiass or whatever his name was.

Terezi sighed, stepping out of the woods with you and Karkat in suit. A massive house- hive, whoops- loomed above you. The windows were tinted red, and a blue cliffside hung around it. “You said you’d take me somewhere I could hide, not Nepeta’s hive,” Karkat complained, voice weary and quiet to minimize the chance of someone hearing him.

“Exactly. Funny enough, nobody cares about the hive ‘cept Nep’ and Meulin.” The door was open, so you waltzed in with Karkat. “Now just go find a chest to cram in or something. I’m gonna go look for Sollux!”

She left, then, leaving you confused. “Sollux? You mean like that hacker guy, right?”

He grumbled in reply. “Yeah. He tasted like lemonade to her,” he shrugged, rifling around the inside of the hive. The walls were splattered with red blood and white pictures, fur coats of deceased animals lining the floor. Creepy. Black, silver, and red torches lit the place dimly.

You caught up with Karkat, who was jumping up stairs 2 at a time. He entered a room and shut it once you joined him.

The walls were lined with more pictures. They seemed to be... shipping... grids? Weird. A white mass was hidden in the corner, and you stared at it for a few minutes. It blinked at you. Okay, no, we’re not going there. It was a cat with two mouths, huge, and entirely white. Karkat walked up to it, grabbing something from his sylladex. “Stay quiet, Pounce de Leon, and you’ll get more.” It was a grub roll, you recognized. The lusus, Pounce de Leon, purred happily before gnawing on each half with a mouth.

Karkat walked over to a chest and opened it. Inside was a sketchpad, which he discarded on the floor. The chest was rather big, so he crawled inside before gesturing to you. You strolled over and joined him, cramming yourself in the chest with him. It was a tight squeeze, and when he shut the top of it, you were washed in complete darkness.

Karkat’s breathing was heavy, as if panicked, and he buried his head in his arms. You knew he hated dream bubbles, but he never told you why. You guessed... you could just ask?

You cleared your throat, prompting him to grunt in acknowledgment. “Hey, uh... Why do you hate dream bubbles?” you asked quietly.

He made a weird noise before turning to you, a light scraping making him duck. Ouch. Horns against metal probably didn’t feel too nice. “I’d rather not see my dead friends and then wake up without them.” Oh.

You quieted after that, letting him lean on you. He was shaking lightly, so you awkwardly let your head rest on his shoulder. Your knees hurt from being bent this way for so long, but you didn’t want to leave Karkat to fend for himself.

It was about 5 minutes later when the door was flung open. The sound of fabric ruffling was strange, but you paid it no mind as you felt Karkat tense against you. His breathing picked up.

The fabric sounds neared the chest and before you knew it the chest opened. Two figures, both wearing green while one wore a blue cat hoodie, were standing above the chest. You grimaced, flicking them off before shutting the chest. Or, tried to. Karkat held it open. “Oh, god, Nepeta, I really fucking need your help even if you’re dead or whatever,” he sighed in relief, hopping out of the chest.

“Okay! What do mew need?” Oh, right, she talked in puns. Ugh.

Karkat started, before pausing. “Can we talk about it in private?”

Nepeta nodded furiously. “Can I bring Mewlin with us, though?” Karkat nodded, leading them out of the room. Now, you were alone with Pounce de Leon.

What did Karkat even want to talk about with her? It was strange, you thought. He had told you so many secrets about him, but now he doesn’t want you to know something that has obviously been bothering him for a while. It wouldn’t hurt to talk a little peek, would it..?

Shrugging to yourself, you floated over to the door and leaned against it. You could faintly hear them in another room, so you strained your ears.

“..confusing, with the quadrant shit,” Karkat said in a hushed tone.

“What do mew mean?”

“Well, like, yesterday, okay? He was being really fucking pale and playing with my hair and shit, making sure I went to sleep..” Oh, shit. This was about you, wasn’t it? Something told you to stop listening, but you.. couldn’t.

“And then the other day he’s fucking teasing me and black flirting with me, and other times he’ll cuddle with me and give me flushed vibes. I don’t know what to do- does he even like me?”

There was silence for a few moments, the sound of fabric ruffling before the cat girl from before spoke up. “I think you’ll be fine, Karkitty! Mewlin thinks so, too. The real question is, do mew like him back in any clawdrents?” They got louder as the seconds passed, apparently forgetting to be quiet.

Your heart beat fast, anticipation crawling over you. “..Yeah. Yeah, I do. And it fucking  _ sucks _  because he’s so confusing.” After a few seconds, in which you seemed to melt, he spoke again. “Red. I’m so fucking red for him,” he groaned miserably. You'd heard enough.

Your face alight with red, you floated over to the chest, sitting back inside and pulling your phone out.

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering grimAuxiliatrix [GA] \--  
TG: hey  
TG: kan  
GA: Yes  
TG: i need help  
GA: What Is It You Are Having Difficulties With  
TG: i uh  
GA: Are You Asking Me How To Woo Karkat  
TG: god no  
TG: where the fuck did you hear that  
GA: You Are Always Talking With Rose About Him  
TG: wow ok  
TG: where are you  
GA: I Am Speaking With Eridan About His Romantic Problems As A Dead Fish  
TG: huh  
TG: hows that going  
GA: He Is Sobbing Into My Chest Because He Does Not Think Sollux Hates Him  
GA: I Have Tried Assuring Him That Sollux Does Indeed Hate Him But He Does Not Think Likewise  
TG: right  
TG: weird quadrant shit  
TG: what was it that the cat girl said  
TG: clawedrants  
TG: yeah you guys have fucked up clawedrants  
GA: I Have To Go Eridan Is Trying To Be Red With A Doomed Karkat  
GA: It Is Not Helping  
\-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] \--

Well, that wasn’t really helpful. It did help you calm down, though, but the conversation could have lasted longer.

The door swings open. You glance up, staring into the eyes of a... “What the fuck are you wearing?” you ask, staring at the intruder.

They wore a yellow and black outfit, two pairs of horns protruding from a yellow, blue, and red helmet. “What the fuck,” he slurred, an obvious lisp having him talk strange. “I could ask you the same thing!” He twitches. What is wrong with this dude?

“Are you saying my clothes suck, sir? Because you appear to be wearing some of the conksuckiest shit I have ever had the displeasure of laying my eyes on. It’s like I just looked at the sun, thinking it was beautiful, but now I am blind because it was truly horrifying and that’s all I’ll ever remember. Staring at the sun. Everywhere I look, I am reminded of the ugly sun. Because I am blind. Your clothes are ugly,” you tell him.

“Sorry.” He sounds frustratingly sad. You don’t really feel bad because his clothes are kind of ugly. They look like they were ripped from star trek.

Karkat taps on his shoulder, making him jump. “Sollux is outside with Eridan and Kanaya and some fucking weird version of me, Mituna, so get your ass out there.”

“Is Cronus there?” ‘Mituna’ asks. You have no idea what the hell he’s saying because he sounds as intelligible as a cicada on steroids while it’s dying on those clothes of his. Oops, you didn’t mean to mumble that.

“Yes, he’s there. Now do me a favor and don’t fucking fall down the stairs while you go meet your weird kismesis or whatever.” Karkat pushes him out of the way, peeking out the window. “Thanks, but the dream bubble is about to end for us,” Karkat says to the two catgirls.

“It’s okay! If you efur have any more problems like that you can come to us anytime!” she squeals, eyes dancing with colors. Karkat grips your shoulder as the world begins to melt away, leaving you back on the meteor. You take a minute for your eyes to adjust before following Karkat.

He seems to glare at you as you try to follow him into his room, so you back off, hands in the air in a mock ‘woah, sorry’ gesture. Instead, you go to Can Town and look for the Mayor. He’s standing in the middle of the town, one hand on his hip while the other is cupping his chin. Upon seeing you, he lights up.  **‘Dave!’**  He runs up to you, crushing his head into your neck and hugging you tightly. You feel warm.

“Hey,” you murmur, rubbing your hands over his back. You missed him and hadn’t talked to him in a while. “Want me to help with Can Town?” He backs up.

**‘Yes, we’re almost done,’**  he signs smoothly,  **‘and I need the last few buildings to be complete.’**  You smile at him for a split second before turning to the empty part of the room. You know that’s what you need to fill out.

You gather a few cans from a storage block in the wall and start building over the blueprints scrawled on the floor.

While building, you think about something aside from Karkat for once. You think about the Mayor, and what a great zucchini he is. The term always gets you- why were QPPs called zucchinis, anyway?

To you, it didn’t matter, but you knew he felt warm in your grip that night as you slept in the fort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woah i did a new chapter already wow  
> anyways i dont know how long until the next chapter but were real close to the end here yall  
> like next chapter is the last 1 and then theres gonna be an epilogue  
> i didnt really plan to make this fic this short bc 30,000 words is kind of a short fic to me (i can read abt 150,000 word fics in 1 day) but im afraid that i might cancel the fic if it gets too out of hand and aaaaaaaaaaaaaa yeah  
> ok sorry bye


	14. Chapter 14

Three days.

Three days went by that you spent with the Mayor. Mainly, you talked about the building of Can Town (and finished it, too), but sometimes you would ask him about Karkat. If anyone knew how much you liked Karkat, it was the Mayor. He teased you, but gave you advice and listened to your rambles. Once, Karkat walked in while you were discussing the final building (which had been decided to be a miniature version of the fort). He sat down and added his own tips about it until Rose called him to... do something? You don’t know.

Now, though, you gazed at the finished work with Karkat and WV. WV was on your shoulders, rendering him unable to sign to you. He did, however, sign something to Karkat, making him shrug.

“Damn. This is fuckin amazing,” you murmured, looking around once more. The mini fort was next to a watch tower- a rather large site- that had been built with cans and chairs, had blankets draped over it as well. Pretty.

Eventually, Rose and Kanaya showed up (because Karkat wanted Kanaya to come but Rose was clingy, apparently). They marveled at the various sights, giving WV head pats and praise as well as you and Karkat. You did not miss the way Rose winked at you when they left.

“Well,” you stretched, later on. “A hard day at work deserves some relaxation, right?”

Karkat snorted. “That was the dumbest thing I’ve heard come out of your mouth, ever. Besides.. I was thinking of expanding the fort.”

You began floating down the hallways, prompting Karkat to follow. You shifted the Mayor so he wasn’t so heavy to carry. “Sounds like a plan, I guess. What do you think, M?” That was your nickname for the Mayor.

His hands loosened from your hair and he carefully signed. “He says he would love it,” Karkat translated.

“Sounds good. I’m gonna lounge for a bit, though. It’s only..” You pulled out your phone to click it on. “...5:38 pm.”

“What?”

“Sorry. It’s 17:38.” Karkat was still not used to your way of time.

“Right,” Karkat grumbled, sliding the door open, “let’s get this over with.”

“The break or the work?” you teased.

“You fucking know, Strider, god damn.”

Snickering, you floated your way down the stairs, making sure not to hit WV’s head on the ceiling. You trailed into the fort, bending down to let WV crawl off your back. He quickly ran into the ‘movie room’ and grabbed some Tab from the mini fridge- or, as Karkat liked to call it, the mini thermal hull.

You found troll words to be extremely interesting. One time, you had used the word “worm” in your sentence and Karkat had asked what it was, so you showed him a picture. “Oh, you mean dirt noodles,” he had murmured, and you’d started laughing so hard you cried. Some of your other favorites were “fart niblets,” which meant beans, and “dong shouter” for a bell.

Karkat passed you a grub roll. He himself had some grub sauce and noodles, and two halves of some grub loaf. You wondered briefly why the word ‘grub’ was in most, if not all, of troll’s food, but decided not to question it. He passed you one-half of his grub loaf while taking a bite of his noodles. You mumbled your thanks, holding the loaf while you finished your roll. You didn’t eat much troll food, but you knew it was a lot better than your ‘human food.’ The only downside to it was that they didn’t have a lot of food, only 100 types or so.

After you were done eating, you shared some apple juice with Karkat and WV before getting to work. First things first; you had a ton of open room to take advantage of in front of the fort. You grabbed a few blankets you’d alchemized earlier. Two were the same as the original design; black with green and purple swirly designs on it. One was a bright red and the other was a light gray.

You grabbed your sword and told Karkat and the Mayor to stand back as you sliced a huge gash in either side of the entrance. You were careful to avoid splitting the table and mini fridge in half. Taking the scraps of blanket in your wake, you laid them down in front of the gashes to serve as floors. You handed Karkat his gray blanket and handed him some metal sticks, which he merged together and began to set up other the left gash. You screwed nails in the blankets and put tape over them so nobody would get cut before doing the same to your hole.

Next, you opened up some room on the sides with your sword and repeated the process with the designed blankets. You thought you were done until the Mayor notified you that you did not have a banner.

While Karkat went to alchemize something for a banner, you added windows to the new tents. These tents would serve as your storage rooms to keep anything you wanted at the fort in there. The extra tents were for things you shared and the mini fridge.

When he returned, Karkat laid the banner out and everyone discussed what the fort would be called until the Mayor decided it should be  **‘Fort Dawvekat.** ’ ‘Dawve’ was your and WV’s name, while ‘kat’ was Karkat’s.

You all scrawled some of it on, prompting it to look... Ugly. It was pretty ugly. To make it pretty, WV drew all three of you in your most known expressions. You flew up and hung them with nails again before floating down and nodding at [the fort.](https://o0jaywolf0o.tumblr.com/post/164940625368/o0jaywolf0o-fort-dawvekat-the-finished-fort-in)

“Shit, dawg.” You smiled at your work. not really, but you were happy with it. Karkat was beaming at the new tents and banner, as was the Mayor.

You went inside, grabbing some shit from the bedroom and throwing it in your tent. You lazily waved from the windows at Karkat, and he came over and slapped you half-heartedly. You chuckled.

Karkat moved his stuff to his new room, too, and the Mayor sat in the movie room. “‘Sup?” you asked. He seemed to be waiting for Karkat.

**‘Do you have any card games?’** he inquired, and you shook your head.

“Nobody has the code for a deck, dude. But we  _ can _ play stuff, like... truth or dare. Or 20 questions, you know.” The Mayor squinted in thought.

**‘What about kiss, kill, marry?’** You lightened up. 

“Hell yeah!” Karkat walked in, brows bunched so close together they may as well be married. You rushed to explain, “The Mayor wants us three to play kiss, kill, marry. It’s like... You know that game nail, pail, or rail that you were telling me about? It’s that, but the ‘human version.’”

“Sounds stupid, but sure. Who's first?” Karkat replied after a moment. Nobody responded, so he sighed and sat down in the doorway. “Whatever. Dave, you get to choose from... Terezi, Vriska, and Kanaya.”

“Shit, you’re making this too easy. I fucking hate Vriska anyway, so kill her. Kanaya and Rose are fucking adorable and I’d hate to break that shit up so kiss her. Terezi’s pretty chill and she likes memes so I’d marry her, I guess.” Karkat nodded along as if agreeing with you. “Okay. Mayor, what about... Rose, me, and.. Gamzee.”

WV rocked forward for a moment before lifting his hands up.  **‘Kill Gamzee, kiss you, and marry Rose, I suppose.’** That seemed pretty reasonable.  **‘Karkat. Gamzee, Serenity, and Terezi?’**

Karkat thought about this. “Well, Gamzee was my moirail for a long time, so kiss him. Nothing against Serenity, but I don’t really know her and I don’t want to take her from you. Kill. I guess I could marry Terezi; I used to have a flushed crush on her anyway.”

“Damn. We can’t both be marrying Terezi,” you joked. Karkat snickered.

“Dave. John, Jade, and yourself.”

“Myself?” you echoed. It would be weird to do anything to yourself except kill, you thought, but then again sex would be pretty great considering only you knew your own kinks.  Actually, the thought of having sex with yourself was not one you wanted to entertain. “Hmm. That’s tough.” You gnawed on your nails for a moment. “Kill me, kiss... huh. Kiss John, and marry Jade.” 

**‘Why kill yourself?’**

You shrugged, swallowing. “I don’t wanna kill Jade or John.” Enough Daves died enough anyway. It made sense, you thought. Mixing it up a bit, you glanced at Karkat. “Sorry, Mr. Mayor, I'm gonna skip you. Karkat. Do Eridan, Mituna, and.. Who was that girl? Nepeta? Do her.”

Karkat took some time to think about this. “Kill Mituna, because he’s fucking annoying and gross. I guess kiss Eridan? He’s not  _ too  _ bad... And Nepeta’s sweet enough and pretty tolerable, so I’d marry her.”

The Mayor intercepted before Karkat could ask anyone three more people.  **‘I apologize, but this is getting... Boring. Can we play something else? Like truth or dare? Or, you two can, I have to go do.. something.’** You wanted to keep playing, but you couldn’t say no to the Mayor. Curiosity laced your face as he stood up, getting ready to leave for whatever reason. 

“Yeah, sure. You comin’ back?” Surprisingly, WV shook his head, a smile in his eye as he crawled out of the fort and upstairs. You were alone with Karkat now. “So. Truth or dare, Karkles?”

“Dare.”

You hummed, a sly grin creeping on your face. “I dare you to drink 3 cans of Tab. If you don’t, I’ve got a worse dare.”

A flash of panic shone in Karkat’s eye and he lunged over you, opening the fridge and getting the soda. Quickly, he popped the tab and started chugging it. Laughing softly, you clicked the other two open as soda began to run from the can and down his chin. 

He finished the first can and paused to breathe for a moment before snatching the second. He took longer on this one, gulping down the sugary liquid with difficulty. You were going to call the dare off, but he held a hand up and crushed the second can, now empty. Staring into your eyes with a scowl, he drank the third one before slamming it down, panting. He paused to give a loud belch, and you laughed until he smeared soda from his hand to your sleeve. “Not cool, dude,” you complained, huffing softly in amusement.

“Fuck you. Truth or dare?”

You didn’t really want to answer questions, so you shrugged. “Dare.” 

Karkat looked like one of those villains from one of John’s movies as he thought. “Go upstairs and rap at the coffee machine for 10 minutes.” You snorted, sitting up. 

“Sure. C’mon.” You made your way upstairs, already mapping out the sick beats you’d drop to the machine. Karkat trailed behind you, muttering something about insufferable pricks the entire way. You entered the common room, where WV, Rose, and Kanaya were seated on the couch. Why the Mayor was with them was a mystery, but you needed to drop your rhymes. You decided on rapping out a song you knew already and just merging it with some others.

**‘Why are you here?’** you saw the Mayor sign from the corner of your eye.

“I dared Dave to rap for 5 minutes at the coffee machine.” Wait...

“I thought you said 10 minutes?”

Karkat rolled his eyes. “I didn’t think you’d really do it. Besides, who the fuck wants to hear you sing slam poetry for 10 minutes?” You shrugged, turning toward the machine and dropping down some beats.

Behind you, as you rapped, you heard Kanaya and Rose snickering about something. You’re fairly sure it was something to do with you and Karkat, so you tuned it out.  True to your word, you ended up spewing phrase after phrase until Karkat punched you to make you shut up. Rolling your eyes, you followed him back to the fort, mulling over dares.

When you sat down, you grinned. “Truth or dare?”

“Dare.” Gotcha.

“Karkles. Oh, dear Karkat. I dare you to recite as much of the Bee Movie script that you can.” Karkat’s jaw fell to the ground.

“Jegus fucking Christ, Dave. No. No, I am not fucking doing that. Truth.” Disappointment made your face fall.

“Fine.” You mulled over any good questions before deciding on the classic sleepover approach. “Got any crushes?” 

Karkat stiffened for a moment. “I... can’t change the question again, can I?” Your heart started beating faster. Was he going to say.. you? You know he likes you. You fucking  _ know _ he does, but something keeps telling you he doesn’t. Now is the perfect time to find out if he does.

You think about all the times he’s hung out with you, looked at you with something in his eyes, blushed at stupid games. Times your stomach has fluttered at the sound of his laugh. Times you’ve spent all night thinking about him.

“...No.”

Karkat curled in on himself. “I.. uh..” he hesitated, avoiding your gaze. He swallowed, the thing in his throat bobbing. You leaned in closer. You’d be on the edge of your seat if you were in a seat.

Before you could react, Karkat took your face between his hands and looked at you through your shades. He swallowed thickly, pulling your forehead to his. Your hands were clammy, heart hammering through the blood roaring in your ears. You felt your face burning as he finally closed his eyes, the space between you dissipating.

It was slow. Awkward. His lips found yours, and you pushed against him. Nothing felt real as you melted in his arms- it was just you and Karkat. Your hands found his hair and brushed through it, eliciting a sound of surprise from the back of Karkat’s throat. Sparks seemed to tingle anywhere he touched, and his arms latched around your shoulders.

Pulling back, you took a deep breath before kissing him again. It was tender but chaste and you felt warm and happy as tension drained from your shoulders. After a moment, he pulled back, face a bright, cherry red. You're sure you looked the same. A sheepish smile crawled up your and his face and you snickered, letting a laugh escape your chest. You’ve been so nervous all these days. So hesitant, so _guarded_ because you didn’t think he’d like you back. But here he was, proving you wrong. 

Your brain was fuzzy, and the rest of the day you silently watched romcoms in a comfortable silence, squeezing in a cuddle here and there.

You went as far as to say that you were genuinely happy. You hadn’t felt this relieved- felt so good and _carefree-_  since you were 4 and you finally got a phone. It was truly nice. You silently thanked Rose, Kanaya, the Mayor... 

When you went to sleep, you spooned Karkat. He was soft when you pulled him flush against your chest and his hair tickled your face. It felt like the day was a dream and you'd wake up any minute now, but as the troll in your arms sighed happily you realized that this was real and it was  _happening_.

You think... You think you’ve fallen in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i cant write kissing scenes ha hahaha help
> 
> no but ive never actually written a kissing scene as far as i know. whoops. sorry about that i suck
> 
> anyways hope that was acceptable next chapter is the last one and is an epilogue wonk


	15. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> insert the final countdown here  
> anyways this is the last chapter and its kinda short but what the fuck was i supposed to put in here lol  
> yeah  
> i tried

For the next few months, you.. changed, somewhat. You discussed your feelings about Bro and the abuse you’d gone through as a child. At first, you’d defended your abuser, saying he was ‘training’ you (which, in reality, wasn’t a lie- you surely would have died long ago if it were not for the skill granted by years of strifing). Karkat had explained in a rather calm tone that victims of abuse were supposed to be taught that they need their abuser and no one else, causing you to flip out. You did think about it, and slowly recovered and stopped flinching at the sound of someone’s feet scuttling behind you. You, however, still had trouble keeping yourself together at the sound of blades grinding.

Karkat also helped keep you stable. When you were sad, remembering John, or feeling numb, Karkat would be there. He’d either talk to you about whatever was bothering you or simply cuddle and kiss you, whispering reassurances to you as he talked about his day.

Speaking of all this cuddling and kissing, nobody really knew what was between you and Karkat. Frankly, though, neither did you. Karkat had approached you one day, a troubled expression on his face as he sat on your bed. “What are we?” he’d asked. You’d wanted to say matesprits, but then again- _were_ you?

He’d rushed to explain what he meant, “Like, what quadrant are we in? When we kiss and cuddle, we’re flushed. But then you go and comfort me and sometimes even fucking shoosh pap me without fucking knowing and I feel so _pale_ for you. You always act like a fucking prick, too, and I feel black for you.. so what the fuck? What the actual steaming pile of shit are we?” He was frustrated, to put it mildly.

You’d sat on the matter for a few hours before walking up to him in the fort, where he was nestled and eating goldfish crackers while watching some rom-com you’d seen 20 times prior. “I’d say we’re human boyfriends, Karkat.” That’d gotten his interest. You’d sat down by him, fidgeting your hands as he paused the movie. You weren’t really good with talking about relationships, so you winged it. “In ‘human’ relationships, couples always fight and cuddle and reassure and have sex and all that good quadrant shit. If you want, then we can stay in one quadrant and I’ll stop doing whatever the fuck the other quadrants do, but in reality? Datemates are just a little bit of all of them, aside from auspisticism.” You expected him to think about it for a while, but halfway through he’d started to look _frightened_. You’d asked him what was wrong, and he'd sniffled, mumbling something about how you can’t just _be_ all three, Dave.

In the end, you had both decided you were special matesprits. You’d given him a little kiss and let him finish the movie, then.

The only other person on the ship who knew about your relationship was the Mayor (and Serenity). He’d cheered for you and hollered, making cute little squeaking noises. Speaking of the Mayor, Karkat had also asked him to be QPPs. Now you all were in a relationship; the Mayor was QPPs with both of you while you were matesprits with Karkat. It was nice, you thought.

Gamzee started to disappear. You’d seen him with Lil’ Cal and had a panic attack, too, but the memories were fuzzy with you becoming numb and refusing to talk to anyone for a little over 3 days. The clown’s disappearance had also caused the kismesissitude between he and Terezi to fail because they weren’t spending time hating each other.

Rose had told you that the John from an alternate timeline where everyone dies except he and Terezi was going to replace the John that died on LOWAS. Davesprite wasn’t coming back, much to your disappointment. You’d had some chill times with him, joking about your sister’s weird wizard porn fics and such. You silently thanked him for being so cool before continuing with whatever you’d been doing.

Rose and Kanaya grew close. Vriska had the bright idea of prepping a meal for them because, and you quote, “Soon enough you will owe me 8-fold!” The dinner was awkward at first, but the food was actually pretty delicious. Who knew Vriska could cook? You also handed some credit to Terezi for helping out with the food, because god _damn_ that shit was good. During the dinner, you and Karkat muttered about various random topics until you were engaged in a deep conversation about the labels on cans and what they mean. A few suspicious glances were sent your way when you laughed or Karkat smiled (who knew either of those were even possible?), but otherwise you don’t think anyone knew.

Your ultimate plan to keep Terezi from sniffing out the fort had failed. One day, you’d been sitting in the fort, cuddling with Karkat and watching the troll version of ‘Before We Go’ when a loud banging sounded from the door. Thinking it was Gamzee, you'd groaned and waltzed upstairs, only to be surprised by the entire group of trolls and humans gathered angrily outside the passage. The Mayor signed furiously about how he couldn’t stop Terezi because she’d gone noseblind from the scents you’d been throwing into the vents.

“Dammit,” you sighed. “Whatever. I don’t really fucking care. You get one look around and you’re fucking leaving, that’s it. Don’t touch anything.” They all scuttled down the stairs soon after you told Karkat they’d found out. He’d looked miserable.

“Really? And we’d hid it so well... God, fucking hell.” You’d patted his shoulder inside the fort, making sure nobody saw, before leaving.

“So this is the place you’ve been hiding out in?” Rose inquired. You’d answered random questions, some more subtle about your relationship with Karkat than others. They hadn’t been allowed in any of the side rooms out of respect for your dignity- what would they think of seeing a used pile in one?- and promptly been shooed out of the room. From then on, you’d locked it every time you entered and had a specific set of knocks and keywords to announce your presence to anyone inside. You always left someone in there, whether it be you, Karkat, or the Mayor, so nobody could come in and wreck havoc of your shit. Surprisingly, everyone had refused to go into the room. You’re at least 3% sure it was something to do with Rose and getting you and Karkat together. The only happenstance of someone other than Karkat and WV knocking on the door was when someone needed you in person. They still refused to enter the passage.

You were fucking around with the alchemiter one day and combined one of Vriska’s watches with your iShades. It had made an Apple Watch. You then combined one of the smuppet asses you’d sliced up with it, just for the kicks, and made... God, you have no fucking idea. You combined the Apple Watch with a crab, too, and made Karkat one of the things. It was like a phone but a watch, and every time you spoke into your little foam ass the words were muffled and Karkat had to scream in mock rage. It was, frankly, pretty fucking hilarious.

With the Mayor in the fort, you’d gone to your room to make some music. After a while, though, Karkat got bored and pulled you to the bed to watch some crab videos he had. It was.. kind of adorable. The entire time, you were spooning him, laughing into his hair. The door had opened without warning and Rose had stepped in, muttering something about Kanaya and wizards when she saw you two. Her mouth had formed a small ‘o’ and red lit up both you and your matesprits cheeks, and you’d played it off by muttering a strangled, “‘Sup, Rose?”

She’d locked your door and barraged you with a multitude of questions about when you guys hooked up, have you told anyone, what quadrant, have you ever had a makeout session? The questions got around to sex and you pushed her away, mumbling shit at her. No, you were _not_ fucking having sex with him, Jegus Christ. Who knew what kind of dick he had anyway?

She’d left, then, no doubt going to tell Kanaya about it and then write some kind of steamy fanfiction between you two. Karkles had avoided cuddling the rest of the day, much to your disappointment.

One time, when you were watching memes with Karkat, he spoke up. It was random, but it gave you something to focus on. He started talking about his dreams as a wiggler; to be a threshecutioner. He says he had gotten the inspiration from his favorite Television show, “The Thresh Prince of Bel-Air,” and always loved the idea since. He pulled out his sickle to show you that it was the same sickle from the show, too, and you laughed at him. It was cute.

When he asked about life at your home, aside from Bro, you’d told him about your comic, SBaHJ. Of course, he already knew all about it after you’d forced him to read all of the panels. Then you'd moved onto school. Funny enough, as popular as you were online, you were one of the losers. You didn’t get picked on much aside from how scrawny you were, and even then it was just some of the more popular girls offering a talk if you were depressed or something. Of course, you’d just wave them off. The only real reason people talked to you was because they knew you made SBaHJ. Otherwise, they just asked questions. _Why are you so thin? Why do you wear shades? Why don’t you ever smile? Why do you mumble all the time? Why were you out last week? Why are you limping?_

You could gladly say you were happy, now. Before all of this quadrant mess, you’d been stressed. Karkat had comforted you. Helped you. And you’d done the same in return. Before, he was insecure about his blood, but you’d convinced him that he was as real of a troll as it gets. He’d cried on your shoulder that night, thanking you and telling him how good of a matesprit you were.

You’d slipped up once. It had been a normal day; you were in your favorite place with Karkat- the fort- in your favorite cuddling position- spooning. He was flush against you, purring as you rubbed his horns (turns out they were not for anything sexual and were mainly for moirails to calm the other down) when you began to murmur sweet nothings to him. Before he’d actually gone to sleep, you’d rambled on about how great he was when they slipped from you. Those three words; “I love you.” He’d frozen, you’d stiffened, and he’d turned around with little red tears rimming his eyes.

“Do you really mean that?” he’d whispered, eyes searching your face for any hint of lying. You’d hesitated. Did you?

...Yes. Yes, you did. “I love you so fucking much, Karkat,” you’d told him, and he’d kissed you hard before passing out in your arms.

All in all, you were happy. You really were. Every day when he woke up you told Karkat you loved him and he told you he loved you, too. People started to notice how at ease you were around him- not at all like the Strider who had a massive gay crush on his best bro and was tense all the time. You think they started to catch on, but if they did, they said nothing.

Karkat had confessed that you made him feel like he was worth living. You had helped him through his insecurities- told him his every flaw and how badass they were, or how valid his fears were. It was dumb and small, but it meant so much to him. It really did.

You were alone one night- Karkat had wanted to sleep in his recuperacoon again and you couldn’t really fit in there so you'd opted to sleep in the fort. You thought about Karkat, unsurprisingly. You took a moment to realize that all you’d needed in your life before now was an angry troll who shouted a bunch at random shit. If you’d told yourself that a sweep ago, you would have laughed, but now, you realized just how true it was. 

Karkat needed you as much as you needed him, and that was all that mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaa thanks for reading  
> everyone who commented is good and pure /tm/  
> what did u think? i mean im asking bc yall never comment. like did i fuck up?? this is my first serious homestuck fic so i know i got everyones personalities wrong (jfc karkat and dave barely make any fucking metaphors do you see this shit) and some of the plot line is really messed up but w/e  
> this had been a good, what, like month and a half or whatever? it was fun to write.  
> anyways again thanks for reading. you should rlly check out [fortuitous](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9927995) by [java_bean](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Java_bean/pseuds/Java_bean) because they have a way better and funnier and longer fic than i could ever write haha  
> alright i think thats it. seeya or whatever

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments are always appreciated.  
> please tell me if you see an error anywhere in the book, too- such as plot hole and all.  
> [tumblr](https://o0jaywolf0o.tumblr.com)


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